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Each episode addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationship ...
 
Parenting: It’s the hardest job we’ll ever do. Most of us are tired, stressed, struggling through meltdowns, and counting the minutes until bedtime. But what if raising kids could feel just a little lighter? What if you could end even the hardest day feeling good about how you’re parenting? I’m Dr. Hilary Mandzik – a licensed psychologist and mama of 3 changing the way we do parenting, so there’s less stress and more joy, even in the hardest moments! Join me each week on the Raised Resilient ...
 
Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thri ...
 
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show series
 
There are lots of books available now on how to talk with children about issues related to race, but Sarah W. Jaffe noticed a gap: there weren't any books geared toward non-academic audiences talking about how the choices that predominantly well-off, predominantly White parents make impact other people. From childcare choices to school to college, …
 
How many times a day do you hear: “Mommy, come play with me!”? You might be in the middle of putting the dishes away or working or just (finally!) having a moment to yourself … and then this request pulls at your heartstrings – and you either say yes begrudgingly or say no with heaps of guilt. But what if I told you that there was another option? I…
 
Early childhood expert Kisha Reid joins Janet in a lively conversation about the often overlooked and underestimated benefits of play-driven learning and how we can nurture these lifelong gifts for our children. Kisha and Janet discuss the magic of trusting children to discover and develop their passions and how our fears, misperceptions, and impat…
 
Screens are everywhere in 2022, and kids love them – but parents often use them with reluctance, guilt & anxiety. Maybe you can relate: Have you ever felt bad about using screens with your child? Have you Googled: “How does screen time affect kids?” or “Are screens safe for toddlers?” or “How much screen time is too much?” or “Why does my child mel…
 
Janet shares an exchange with a mom requesting "alternatives to time out when natural consequences aren’t appropriate." The parent wonders how to intervene with her toddler when she is possessive and aggressive around other kids.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day tr…
 
I've been wanting to do this episode for a loooong time. We covered episodes a long time ago on how children form social groups, and what happens when they exclude each other from play, but I wanted to do an episode exploring this issue related to slightly older girls, and from a cultural perspective. There are a lot of books and articles out there…
 
If your child’s on summer break, you’re probably already hearing the dreaded “I’m bored!”. When our kids beg us to entertain them, we can feel pulled to come up with an endless stream of ideas & activities, which is exhausting. But here’s the thing: entertainment is not what your child actually needs when they’re feeling bored. In this week’s episo…
 
The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry" when he's done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect.This episode is an updated edition of a previously released podcast.For more …
 
Our children's repeated behaviors can be baffling, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, particularly after we've tried everything we can think of to make them stop. What are we missing? In this episode of ‘Unruffled’, Janet shares some of the common reasons behaviors persist and offers her actionable suggestions for helping our children (and ours…
 
We all want our kids to LISTEN, right? We want them to clean up their toys, get their shoes on when it’s time to go, and stop teasing their siblings when we ask them to. If you’re feeling this, you’re not alone; I get asked allllll the time “How do I get my child to listen?!” In this week’s episode, I talk about the mindset shift required to get ki…
 
I read a lot of textbooks on parenting for my Master's in Psychology (Child Development), I've read tens of thousands of peer-reviewed papers on the topic, and part of the reason it's hard work is that you can't ever take things at face value. In her now classic book Deconstructing Developmental Psychology, Dr. Erica Burman explodes a number of our…
 
You’re at the store, and a kind stranger says hi … but your child freezes & says nothing. You take your child to the playground, but he won’t leave your side. What should you do when your child acts shy? And does it mean something’s wrong? In this week’s episode, I share why I don’t think it’s helpful to call our kids shy. I’ll help you reframe how…
 
In the aftermath of the school shooting at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, TX yesterday, we're all grieving. We're heartbroken & outraged at the same time. And in the midst of all of these feelings, how do we support our kids? In this bonus episode, I talk about how to take care of our kids (and ourselves!) in the wake of a tragedy. I break down the imp…
 
It can be so tough to know how to support our kids when they’re feeling anxious. Sometimes we can start to feel anxious about their anxiety, and this can lead to everyone feeling even more anxious. In this week’s episode, I answer a question from a listener whose 11-year-old daughter is struggling with anxiety about riding in the car. I explore why…
 
How does respectful care work when we have more than one child? What can we do when siblings, multiples, and other groups of children seem to need our attention all at once? Janet's guest is early childhood specialist Erica Orosco Cruz, a mother of 4 and the founder/director of Homeschool Garden, a childcare center and preschool/kindergarten for ch…
 
For the first time, in this episode I bow out and and let listeners Jenny and Emma take over, who wanted to share how they’ve been supporting each other over the last few months. They started from pretty different points: Emma wasn’t having parenting struggles, but often over-communicated with her husband and he would stonewall in response, agreein…
 
As parents, we all want to help our kids build frustration tolerance. It can be so tough – for us and for them! – when our kids shut down before they even give something a chance. But sometimes the things we do to try to help our children tolerate frustration better only make things harder. (Frustrating, right?) In this week’s episode, I share why …
 
Adrianna and Tim had read all the parenting books. (And I mean ALL the books.) But NOTHING seemed to be working. They were still feeling frustrated with their kids on a very regular basis. And their kids were fighting what seemed like every second of the day. They joined the Parenting Membership last May, and the transformation our community has se…
 
Janet discusses the challenges and benefits of authenticity -- how being real with our children helps us to achieve our goals as parents, strengthens our relationship, and even makes our lives easier. Janet says that it was Magda Gerber who modeled authenticity for her, and her teachings “freed me to embrace my authentic, messy inner life and my me…
 
If we want to help our children develop emotion regulation, allowing them to express their feelings is key. But what do you do when you have to be somewhere, but your child is having a tantrum? Or what about when you have multiple kids who all need you at once – like when your toddler is crying, but your baby needs a diaper change? How do you meet …
 
Dealing with hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, scratching, spitting, and other aggressive behaviors in our children is one of the hardest parts of parenting. If you struggle in these moments, you’re so not alone! Aggressive behaviors during tantrums and meltdowns can be SO triggering and tricky. In this week’s episode, I dive into why these aggres…
 
Recently someone posted a question in one of my communities: “Is it really so wrong to want my child to just LISTEN to me sometimes? It seems like such a no-no in gentle parenting circles, and I’m worried that my child is growing up to be entitled and won’t know how to respect authority when they really HAVE to.” Parent Chrystal gave such a beautif…
 
Janet’s guest is the world-renowned nutritionist, family therapist, and author Ellyn Satter. Throughout her long career, Ellyn has successfully addressed issues related to eating and feeding and taught parents how to transform meals into happy, healthful, struggle-free events. “There is so much interference with sensible feeding,” Ellyn says. Her w…
 
Most of us grew up hearing “good job” or “I’m proud of you” when we did things that pleased our parents. And because we grew up hearing these things, it probably comes naturally to say them to our own kids – which seems innocent enough, right? In today’s episode, I explore the effects of different ways of praising our kids – and I talk about which …
 
“On average, authoritative parents spanked just as much as the average of all other parents. Undoubtedly, some parents can be authoritative without using spanking but we have no evidence that all or even most parents can achieve authoritative parenting without an occasional spank.” I was fascinated by this statement, since authoritative parenting i…
 
Have you ever sat with your child in a tough moment and said ALL the “right” things … but your child only seems to get more & more upset? It can be SO hard! I’ve been there, too. In this week’s episode, I talk about what our kids need MOST from us in difficult moments & explore four common mistakes we make when trying to validate our children’s fee…
 
In her book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa Turner talks about the disconnection we feel from others, as well as from our own selves, because of the experiences we’ve had in our childhood. While Toko-pa’s childhood was traumatic by any definition, even those of us who didn’t experience severe trauma were told - either verbally or non…
 
One of the most common misconceptions about parenting in a way that allows children to express all feelings is that kids basically get to do whatever they want. But that could not be further from the truth; allowing all feelings never means allowing all behaviors! The truth is that boundaries are essential in parenting … but actually setting them c…
 
Janet responds to a series of questions from her inbox about some typical behavior challenges parents face. Topics include a child refusing to follow directions, another who stirs up a sibling's emotions leaving the parent struggling to cope with her two upset children at once, a daughter who repeats her parent's foul language, and a son who reflec…
 
I talk a lot about how our children’s behaviors are actually a window into what’s going on for them “under the surface”; their behaviors communicate skills that they haven’t yet developed, impulses they can’t yet control, and sometimes needs that haven’t been met. And that last one – the part about unmet needs – can be really triggering to think ab…
 
I don’t know about you, but I spent a LOT of time thinking about my birth plan before Carys was born. I mean, that thing went through multiple iterations as I read new books about the birth process and thought about what I wanted mine to be like. And I got lucky; we didn’t stray too far from the plan (except that that whole ‘urge to push’ thing? We…
 
Most of us grew up being told to “say sorry!” if we did something wrong. And maybe we learned to say the words … but I would argue that in saying these words, we didn’t actually feel remorse or learn how to repair our mistakes in any real way. In this episode, I share why I don’t force my kids to apologize (& why I recommend you don’t, either). I e…
 
In response to Janet's article “When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention,” a parent says her daughter will whine and cry while making "reasonable" requests for snuggles and food and play, but when she obliges, her daughter often then refuses those things. If she says no to her daughter’s requests, “it escalates into crying hard and be…
 
We've already covered a couple of episodes on sleep, including the cultural issues associated with sleep, then more recently we talked with Dr. Chris Winter about his book The Rested Child where we looked at sleep issues in older children. But if you have a young child who isn't sleeping well, from the baby stage all the way up to about preschool, …
 
One of the most important jobs we have as parents is helping our children learn to regulate their emotions ... but HOW do we actually do this? The answer seems so simple: We do this by allowing ALL of our children’s feelings to exist in our safe presence. But what does that actually mean? What does it look like in practice? In today’s episode, I un…
 
The band The Alphabet Rockers consists of lead members Kaitlin McGaw and Tommy Shepherd, and a multi-racial group of children who are also involved in writing and performing. They write about their real lived experiences and their desire to live in a world where everyone belongs. Kaitlin and Tommy are actually fellows at the Othering and Belonging …
 
Have you ever lost your cool with your child? Have you yelled, said things you didn’t mean, or given in (when you know you shouldn’t) just to avoid a meltdown? The guilt we feel in these moments can be SO heavy. And sometimes that guilt makes it hard to know how to move forward. In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the process of repai…
 
Inspired by a listener's request, Janet offers a list of daily reminders that she hopes will help parents meet the challenges of their day with more clarity, calmness, and confidence.Thanks again to Ritual Vitamins for supporting this podcast. Turn healthy habits into a Ritual today and get 10% off your first 3 months by visiting www.ritual.com/res…
 
Anger is one of the trickiest emotions we deal with as parents. When our kids are angry – especially *at* us – it can be SO tough to stay calm and regulated and to respond in a way that feels good! In today’s episode, I explore WHY anger is so tricky (hint: it’s related to our OWN feelings!), and I share some ideas to help you navigate your child’s…
 
This episode is a continuation of the series on the intersection of children and food. We've also heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon on busting myths about fat, Dr. Michael Goran on how sugar affects our children, Dr. Karen Throsby with a more high-level view on the sugar topic, and Ellyn Satter on her Division of Responsibility approach. My guest in this …
 
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