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I Got A Promotion At Work But Now I’m A Nervous Wreck! Help!

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Manage episode 289762221 series 2879400
Contenuto fornito da Joanna Denton and Dr. JJ Kelly, Joanna Denton, and Dr. JJ Kelly. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Joanna Denton and Dr. JJ Kelly, Joanna Denton, and Dr. JJ Kelly o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.

This week, we hear from a listener who worked hard and diligently to get a promotion at work, only to now have crippling anxiety, imposter syndrome, and a whole lot of stress about doing their new job correctly. We talk about the stress and anxiety that commonly occurs when taking on a new role at work, and how that anxiety can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy if not managed correctly. We discuss the difference between the initial pain or fear that then creates suffering, analysis paralysis, and a feeling of non-stop impending doom.

How can we break the cycle, challenge our thoughts, and find a new way of working and living while trying our best? Tune in to find out!

Takeaway:

[4:30] Our listener this week was promoted in their job six months ago. They were excited at first, but now the reality of this new responsibility is bringing terror and fear about making a mistake and screwing everything up.

[6:31] Joanna can really relate to this situation, and talks about one such career transition that took place when she was working in corporate. After working really hard and demonstrating she was worth the promotion, the problems quickly set in after she took on the new role. She started stressing herself out about every aspect of the job, and in particular started to panic about making decisions that six months previously had been a walk in the park. She started to get so overwhelmed with worry thoughts that it affected her focus and created a self-fulfilling prophecy, until things came to a head one day when her boss took her to one side and had words with her.

[9:14] J.J. discusses how DBT approaches the difference between pain and suffering. Suffering is the non acceptance of pain. In this example, the pain is the fear and performance anxiety. The pain is natural, but the suffering occurs when we don’t accept it to be real - instead we stay in constant worry, believing our worst fears and treating our negative thoughts as facts.

[13:10] We understand that it’s ok for others to make a mistake — even in life or death situations — because to err is human. But when we do it, we tend to beat ourselves up and see it as though we’ve let everyone down on something earth-shatteringly important.

[14:47] Great leaders create an environment where their team is able to be open and honest about making a mistake, and they use their knowledge and experience to move forward in the best way. This is particularly important in companies where innovation is key - we can only have innovation if we are comfortable making mistakes. It’s not easy though, because we are brainwashed by society to try and come across as picture-perfect and as though we’ve got it all together.

[20:08]The conversation turns to burnout in the workplace, and the work that Jo is doing to break down the stigma around the topic. Many big companies are investing funds to put programmes in place to promote a better work life balance in the workplace, but in a number of cases there does not seem to be much traction or change. There may be many reasons behind that, and Jo suggests that one of them may be the mis-perception among the staff that the leaders do not really buy in the programme and are merely paying lip service. Jo suggests that the truth may be more complex - not so much that the leaders do not buy in, but more that they are not ready or willing to talk about how they are suffering in front of their teams. There are many valid reasons why a leader would be unwilling to do this - however, in not doing so there is a risk that the staff misunderstand. If they believe the leaders are just paying lip service, this will give rise to frustration among the staff, and a reluctance to change things from their side. Jo is now on a mission to talk about burnout and what leaders can do to take care of themselves, even if these are difficult conversations. And every time that she shares her TEDx or talks about the book, she gets feedback from others thanking her for sharing the story.

[25:49] In talking about the suffering that comes when we don’t face up to the emotions that we are experiencing, Jo points out that one reason this can happen is that we simply don't know we are facing those emotions. Very concretely, Jo explains that at the time she was working in corporate and riddled with fear and self doubt, she didn't actually know she was riddled with fear and self doubt. She just thought she was trying to get through the day and not screw up. With hindsight it is clear that there was that uncertainty, and if she had known it at the time, she might have been able to validate that emotion and avoid the suffering. But she didn’t.

[28.26] You know what, it’s scary to do a new job, to uplevel. And it is normal to feel scared. We need to validate that emotion, and then allow ourselves to deal with the emotion so we can move on.

[32:20] Feeling relaxed and having fun is all-around better for business and productivity. Instead of sparing your sleep and self-care, get that walk-in. Drink some water. Breathe.

Connect With Us:

Joanna Denton | Dr. JJ Kelly

Resources

Distress Tolerance

Jo’s TEDx

Brene Brown

  continue reading

27 episodi

Artwork
iconCondividi
 
Manage episode 289762221 series 2879400
Contenuto fornito da Joanna Denton and Dr. JJ Kelly, Joanna Denton, and Dr. JJ Kelly. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Joanna Denton and Dr. JJ Kelly, Joanna Denton, and Dr. JJ Kelly o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.

This week, we hear from a listener who worked hard and diligently to get a promotion at work, only to now have crippling anxiety, imposter syndrome, and a whole lot of stress about doing their new job correctly. We talk about the stress and anxiety that commonly occurs when taking on a new role at work, and how that anxiety can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy if not managed correctly. We discuss the difference between the initial pain or fear that then creates suffering, analysis paralysis, and a feeling of non-stop impending doom.

How can we break the cycle, challenge our thoughts, and find a new way of working and living while trying our best? Tune in to find out!

Takeaway:

[4:30] Our listener this week was promoted in their job six months ago. They were excited at first, but now the reality of this new responsibility is bringing terror and fear about making a mistake and screwing everything up.

[6:31] Joanna can really relate to this situation, and talks about one such career transition that took place when she was working in corporate. After working really hard and demonstrating she was worth the promotion, the problems quickly set in after she took on the new role. She started stressing herself out about every aspect of the job, and in particular started to panic about making decisions that six months previously had been a walk in the park. She started to get so overwhelmed with worry thoughts that it affected her focus and created a self-fulfilling prophecy, until things came to a head one day when her boss took her to one side and had words with her.

[9:14] J.J. discusses how DBT approaches the difference between pain and suffering. Suffering is the non acceptance of pain. In this example, the pain is the fear and performance anxiety. The pain is natural, but the suffering occurs when we don’t accept it to be real - instead we stay in constant worry, believing our worst fears and treating our negative thoughts as facts.

[13:10] We understand that it’s ok for others to make a mistake — even in life or death situations — because to err is human. But when we do it, we tend to beat ourselves up and see it as though we’ve let everyone down on something earth-shatteringly important.

[14:47] Great leaders create an environment where their team is able to be open and honest about making a mistake, and they use their knowledge and experience to move forward in the best way. This is particularly important in companies where innovation is key - we can only have innovation if we are comfortable making mistakes. It’s not easy though, because we are brainwashed by society to try and come across as picture-perfect and as though we’ve got it all together.

[20:08]The conversation turns to burnout in the workplace, and the work that Jo is doing to break down the stigma around the topic. Many big companies are investing funds to put programmes in place to promote a better work life balance in the workplace, but in a number of cases there does not seem to be much traction or change. There may be many reasons behind that, and Jo suggests that one of them may be the mis-perception among the staff that the leaders do not really buy in the programme and are merely paying lip service. Jo suggests that the truth may be more complex - not so much that the leaders do not buy in, but more that they are not ready or willing to talk about how they are suffering in front of their teams. There are many valid reasons why a leader would be unwilling to do this - however, in not doing so there is a risk that the staff misunderstand. If they believe the leaders are just paying lip service, this will give rise to frustration among the staff, and a reluctance to change things from their side. Jo is now on a mission to talk about burnout and what leaders can do to take care of themselves, even if these are difficult conversations. And every time that she shares her TEDx or talks about the book, she gets feedback from others thanking her for sharing the story.

[25:49] In talking about the suffering that comes when we don’t face up to the emotions that we are experiencing, Jo points out that one reason this can happen is that we simply don't know we are facing those emotions. Very concretely, Jo explains that at the time she was working in corporate and riddled with fear and self doubt, she didn't actually know she was riddled with fear and self doubt. She just thought she was trying to get through the day and not screw up. With hindsight it is clear that there was that uncertainty, and if she had known it at the time, she might have been able to validate that emotion and avoid the suffering. But she didn’t.

[28.26] You know what, it’s scary to do a new job, to uplevel. And it is normal to feel scared. We need to validate that emotion, and then allow ourselves to deal with the emotion so we can move on.

[32:20] Feeling relaxed and having fun is all-around better for business and productivity. Instead of sparing your sleep and self-care, get that walk-in. Drink some water. Breathe.

Connect With Us:

Joanna Denton | Dr. JJ Kelly

Resources

Distress Tolerance

Jo’s TEDx

Brene Brown

  continue reading

27 episodi

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