Episode 3: Dealing with Fear in a Negotiation

Kelli Confidential: Negotiation Essentials Empowering Extraordinary Women

Why do we feel fear in negotiation? Well this is a mammoth topic in itself. One that I will break down for you over the course of a few episodes, so let’s start with something manageable today. Today I’m going to talk about how we experience fear in negotiation – or what we recognise as fear. Then I’m going to talk about why that happens – because trust me, you are not alone here. And then I’m going to give you three really effective micro-lessons to deal with those fears.
The body is amazing in how it goes into auto-pilot when certain circumstances arise (like feeling threatened), and fear management is one of those times that the body tries to manage itself. What I’m talking about here is when the body goes into survival mode and reacts externally to a perceived threat (non-physical) as if there was a real life polar bear charging at you!
The "fight, flight or freeze" response is controlled by a small, but mighty part of the brain called the amygdala. It’s very small, it’s an almond-shaped structure located deep in the brain, slightly behind the prefrontal cortex, and it is responsible for processing emotions, especially fear.
When the amygdala senses a threat, which happens in milliseconds, it sends an alarm to the rest of the brain and triggers the release of hormones, namely adrenaline and cortisol, which cause physical changes in the body. These changes prepare us to either fight or flee from the danger. So when I say “prepares us”, it does things like slow our digestion and increase our heart-rate so that our limbs are pumping blood faster effectively getting ready for battle…have you ever noticed these changes? They may not have seemed obvious at the time, but they can result in things like dry mouth, extreme thirst, twitchiness, brain fog, forgetfulness, poor digestion, bloating….any of these ringing a bell? These are all symptoms of your amygdala taking over – hence the name “Amygdala Hijack”.
To manage the "Amygdala Hijack", it's important to understand when and why it is activated, and to learn coping strategies for controlling it.

• Micro-lesson 1: Practical and proven techniques to destress the body
• Micro-lesson 2: Practice! Negotiating with strangers helps; listen to Episode 2 for ideas!
• Micro-lesson 3: Mental Health: when was your last tune-up?

Sound interesting? Well, let's jump in!
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