Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew from Leeds for feeding this suggestion into the bean machine for a listening experience which flicks a cold, hard finger-swear at the skip-for…

It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from The Onion Child, something about sport presumably and unlimited adverts!! Call 0800-RIGATONI now with your crazy pasta story and you could win a…

The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to grips with them? Fear? Lobbyists? No matter. Just sit back, chuck some beans together with some mushrooms in a pot, set the hob to lukewarm and l…

Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans talk about jazz this week and, unless some sort of technical catastrophe has taken place resulting in a comprehensive explanation and discussion …

Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about vampires thanks to Stan of Manchester. Little is known of the elusive Stan of Manchester other than he always travels with 50 boxes of Transylvanian soil. Make of that what you will. Join our PATREON …

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladDi Three Bean Salad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights) Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in touch: threebeansal…

This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in pe…

"Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous “search…

Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been referred to the Bean Standards Select Committee and is suspended without pay pending their findings. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a…

This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “Big deal!” we hear you cry. “He’s just tapping into the Zeitgeist!”. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps such a man understands that the people need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride even when they …

Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy level? Perhaps Cody from America has a take on all this? Perhaps not. Perhaps definitely Cody asked the beans to discuss feudalism and they did …

Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply “Spin That Bean!”* and you could stand to win the best part of an hour of lukewarm banter.*conceptual bean only. Sorry. You’ll need to click the link as per. Join our PATREON f…

It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesn’t make sense given the variation in the size of books. Perhaps it was in a grain of sand. Or is that the thing about there being the same number of stars in the sky as grains of sand in a beach. But which…

A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and watching its unhatched siblings being gathered by the smallholder of something else and incorporated into a pretty decent ham and cheese omelette. That’s right, thanks to Katie of Hull, the first topi…

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.Di Three Bean Salad

This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s birth canal, glistening with the lukewarm goo of banter before landing softly on the (also lukewarm) straw of compelling, independent broadcasting and bleating with the timbre of nature’s very own promo…

The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérôme d'Ambrosio and Eleonore von Habsburg, The Black Death. What do these things have in common? All of them took place within spitting distance of some quantity of wine probably. No wonder then that Charlie o…

Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic with thanks to Lewis of Lewisham. Obviously no one really understands what an olive is so it’s a tough one for the beans but the beans battle on gamely nonetheless. Giant snails also get a mention and abo…

Cloche Bleue: noun 1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite 2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker” 3) A curate’s egg of an episode in which the podcasters forget to find a proper topic to discuss after being mesmerised by…

Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so on) but they also cast a bean smeared lens over the behavioural psychology, the paleoanthropology and yes the very mythos of the towel/bare arse interface. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a m…

This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Naturally the beans thrive in this chatosphere. After all, one of them has at least seven extremely small scars, one of them has driven a convertible with the top down in Wales and one of them is a card c…

Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious subject to bed once and for all and they’re very brave about it at the same time but in an unassuming and modest way (and we’re not talking false modesty mind you). Benjamin Partridge also reveals the se…

Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Britain by crabs? (NB on a map the direction of travel is sideways!) Was Stonehenge the location of King Arthur’s stag do? There’s absolutely no way of knowing any of the above as it’s a prehistoric stru…

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.Di Three Bean Salad