Dr. Peter Kim: How Relationships Are Built, Broken, and Repaired

Love in Action

• “The stories we tell are as, if not more, important than what happened” [8:29] As Peter Kim, introduces his research on trust, he discusses how the narratives we portray and the reasons behind actions are the key pieces behind trust. This couldn't be a more critical point when society is so divided.
  
• “If I’m to take the stance, 'no, my initial trust should be 0’... that would have had an enormous effect on my life to a degree where I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the vast number of experiences I’ve been able to have.” [17:30] Where does trust start and build? Peter explains how a higher level of trust as a baseline is crucial to life experiences, whether that be to travel and try new foods or to build relationships. With no trust comes no experience. He says we are better off with a high level of trust because, in general, it ends up to our benefit by self fulfilling prophecy.
  
• “What I’ve found is that as soon as you see it as a violation of integrity or an indication that they lack integrity… it’s almost impossible to repair that relationship.” [28:40] Is it possible to rebuild and repair trust? Peter explains that people in general do not believe that integrity can improve, but if they switch the lens of the reason for that breach of trust to be a competence issue like a lack of understanding or pressure from another factor, it is more likely for the trust to be repaired because we can see and believe that people can learn and increase competence.
  
• “We see those in positions of power differently. We believe for example, that CEOs, if they are involved in a transgression, it’s more intentional.”[36:46] Similar to the way trust is perceived between outside groups, trust is more divided between positions of power and the people below them. CEOs face a difficult challenge of perception where people question their integrity and, even more so, the genuineness of their remorse when trying to correct transgressions. Peter explains how CEOs can rule out the idea or challenge of a ‘lack of integrity’ through their actions and the relationships they create with their followers and employees.
  
• “Most people do want to do the right thing; [Netflix] has found [their HR policy] has been an extraordinarily helpful way of reducing bureaucracy, enabling freedom, creativity, and productivity at the organization. That is an approach based on seeing the good in people, believing people are trustworthy, and creating the atmosphere that allows that to flourish.” [42:02] Peter shares an example from the company Netflix in which their policy embodies the act of trust. Other organizations can also create this really effective environment of natural trust.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Peter H. Kim, PhD, Author
Peter Kim - Professor - University of Southern California - Marshall School of Business | LinkedIn
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Marcel Schwantes

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