MFP 293: What To Do When Your Kids Lie

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parent’s reaction to their children is more important than any consequence that they may give. It is our reaction that teaches our children.

Summary

One of the trickiest things for a parent is when they catch their child in a lie. Do you punish them for lying? Do you punish the offense? How do you teach the virtue of honesty when lying seems to come so naturally to them? Join in our conversation with Jordan Langdon of Families of Character, a ministry that coaches parents to be their best for their families. In this discussion, we hear Jordan’s thoughts on why kids lie, how to create realistic expectations, and why punishing kids for lying only makes things worse. Hear about the “Honesty Incentive Rule” and how that works for young children and even more importantly as your children become teenagers. Find more about Jordan and her work at www.familiesofcharacter.org

Key Takeaways

• Training the will of your child is just as or even more important than training their intellect

• Most children will lie at some point. It is a natural part of their development. It is how you react to them that matters.

• There are different stages of lying. The lie of a 3 yr old looks different than that of a 7 yr old.

• The Honesty Incentive rule helps children take personal responsibility for their actions.

• When you find your child lying, allow yourself time to think about how to handle it. There is no need to react - this is not an emergency!

• Take time to observe your children’s behavior so you can tell when something is going on beneath the surface.

Couple Discussion Questions

• What is our reaction when our children lie to us now? How do we handle it?

• How do I feel when our kids lie to me?

• Do we feel like we take enough time to observe our children’s behavior? Would we know when something was going wrong?