Ep. 210 Caring vs Taking Care

Parenting Paused

I found in my parenting journey that there's a delicate balance between caring for our children and unintentionally taking over. What might this balance look like?

As a mama, I find my love knows no bounds. Even though, when my daughter was young, I wanted to shield her from pain, guide her through challenges, and see her thrive I found it challenging to separate out my desires from hers. I discovered that caring involved offering support, encouragement, and coming along side her when she stumbled instead of trying to fix the situation. It was about creating an environment that supported confidence and independence, nurturing her growth rather than overshadowing it.

Truthfully, out of my own need to be a "good" mama, I unintentionally took over. It happened when my love, concern, and desire to protect her veered into taking care of her so she didn't have to experience any pain. What it came down to was I was offering her what I didn't receive when I was young. Even though it was well-intentioned, taking care instead of caring stifled her autonomy, hindered decision-making skills, and created a dependency which inadvertently communicated a lack of trust in her abilities.

Finding the sweet spot involved present listening, empowering her to make choices for her own good, and being an awake presence rather than a director. It was about encouraging her to spread her wings while reminding her that there is a safe base to return to when she needs a rest.