Finding Life Through Death: My Father’s Story

Ruse Radio

My father passed away three weeks before filming this. I am still processing everything. This is my attempt to capture the state I'm in now and to understand the totality of my father's life. It is simply my perspective of events. The truth is likely far more nuanced and complicated. In this episode, I attempt to pinpoint the moment where my father's life changed forever. I do my best to understand and humanize his struggles and to see them in full. It is not a perfect description and it does not do justice to his story but it DOES seek to find meaning within the chaos of reality. There are things that I wished I had said here in retrospect but it is what it is. I would like to add that my father instilled so many of my values within me, whether I could see it before or not. My resourcefulness, my raw perspective of reality, my genuine love for those I am closest to, my distrust in authority, my appreciation of simple pleasures. All of these things are learned behaviors that he helped to foster within me. I wish I could tell him now how lucky I was to have him as my father. We are not a measure of our flaws. We are a measure of our greatest strengths. Those are the tools we use to reshape the world around us. Those are what guide us to our meaning. Every moment is an opportunity to utilize these strengths or to fall victim to the regret of failing to do so. Do not falter. Do not become stagnant. Always keep in touch with that radiant light that only you can allow to shine. The touch of death brings forth the breath of life. Stay wide awake. ♥