Episode 31 - Grief

Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives

Grief is vast and there is no formula for how to deal with it. Often when drinking takes a turn, loss and grief are found buried under the layers of the pain numbed by alcohol. When we go begin to unpack our relationship with alcohol we often find this story of loss and become reacquainted with the pain. Yet, we are rarely given a model for how to cope with grief sans alcohol. So, what do we do when we no longer use alcohol to numb the pain of loss?

Aiden is currently grieving the death of her mother and discusses how she is processing the pain without alcohol. It isn’t easy and she feels the inevitable anxiety that is part of grief yet she reflects on how writing through her mom’s illness gave her control and served as a soothing self-care practice. Aiden shares why she is feeling stronger through the grieving process without alcohol and how this very conversation had a therapeutic effect.

Jolene discusses how the loss of a romantic relationship in her late twenties triggered her gray area drinking. Loss can come in many forms - miscarriage, loss of a dream, loss of a loved one - and Jolene emphasizes that we need to be honest with ourselves about how the loss affects us and if we are using alcohol to numb our pain. Often our very own resistance to feeling our big loss is worse than letting it move through our bodies. And, we need to remember that we are built to withstand the pain of hard times without substances.

Books mentioned:

Anxiety: The Missing Stage Of Grief by Claire Bidwell Smith

The Journey From Abandonment To Healing by Susan Anderson

Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal For Recovering From Trauma & Emotional Upheaval by James Pennebaker

CONNECT WITH JOLENE:

• Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership
• Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/
• Jolene on Instagram - www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/
• Email: [e-mail]

CONNECT WITH AIDAN:

• The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/
• Aidan on Instagram- www.instagram.com/drybeclub/
• Email: [e-mail]