#267 The Challenges (& Lasting Impact) of the Baby/Child-Rearing Phases on Your Marriage & Parent/Child Relationships

The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast

If you're NOT a new parent, you still want to listen to this episode -- because it may help you to understand WHY you have the current relationship you do with your children and/or your spouse because of things that happened or did NOT happen during the baby and child-rearing phases!

But this episode came in response to this question which we received:

"My husband and I have been married for a little over two years and we are expecting our first baby in the Fall. We've both listened to and loved your podcast even before we were married. Now that we are about to become parents, we are relistening to your podcasts since they've taken on a decidedly new meaning and depth. Understandably, your podcasts talk a lot about older children, teenagers, and your adult children launching into successful lives.

What I (wife) was wondering is if you could answer some questions about what it was like to become parents for the first time. I've listened to prominent speakers like Jordan Peterson talk about how wives are essentially "gone" from their husbands for up to six months after the birth of a baby due to the intense vulnerability and helplessness of the new infant as well as the healing mom needs to go through after giving birth. And, while the husband acts as protector of the mother's energy and sanity during these first crucial months, he will just have to be patient as he "waits for his wife to come back to him."
First off, what does "gone from him" even mean? How did Rachel overcome the need to be the on-demand mom for so long without neglecting Greg? If she struggled, what did you do about it? My husband says he is not terribly worried about it and has told me to just take the birth and first few months as it comes — that I have his full permission to be there for the baby.

However, the worried side of me won't seem to shut off because I don't want to be just the mother of his children, I want to be his wife first and foremost. Maybe six months doesn't sound like a long time to veterans, but it certainly sounds like a long time to essentially "clock out" of wifey duties.

In this episode, Greg and Rachel, parents of 7 children, discuss the challenges and dynamics of becoming new parents, particularly as it relates to intimacy between spouses.

They emphasize the importance of understanding the physical and emotional changes that occur during pregnancy and the postpartum period. They also highlight the significance of this time meeting the needs of babies for their mental, emotional, and psychological development.

Greg and Rachel stress the importance of support and communication between partners during this time and offer insights on creating a balance between parenting and maintaining a strong marital relationship. The conversation explores the challenges and strategies for maintaining intimacy and connection in a marriage after having a baby. They emphasizes the importance of intentional self-care for the wife and leveling up for the husband.

The couple discusses the need for physical and emotional healing after childbirth and the gradual process of getting back into a sexual relationship. They highlight the importance of communication, routines, and meeting each other's needs. The conversation also touches on the impact of parenthood on personal growth and the significance of sex in a committed relationship.

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