Off-Planet transmission 001: rodents_emulsion_cetaceans

The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

001: rodents_ emulsion _cetaceans Their first mandatory meeting was fraught with taboo topics, both parties were restless and disorientated: subject A delicately deliberated the legalities of animal ownership, while B fixated on faecal matter. Attempting to placate a visibly hyperactive B, A engaged in a spontaneous game of Charades. An insightful but meandering conversation transpired: the themes chosen from our predetermined pool exposing their desire for solitude, autonomy, and terra firma. I was perturbed to learn they are routinely consuming a unique variety of home-brew. While precautions have been taken to prevent the reoccurrence of corrupted data, A and B’s ingenuity reinforces my request to revaluate existing security protocols. One client displayed the unmistakable signs of early-onset ‘cosmic delirium’: I will monitor and, following a formal diagnosis, medicate as required. Towards the end of the allotted time, B attempted to alleviate the tension by sharing a joke seemingly written by a resident of their homeland. In response A expressed his desire to be allowed to go back to work, confirmation that the occupation simulation firmware has updated successfully. C.A.W. is fully operational and performing as intended. I recommend a minor dosage increase of previously prescribed barbiturates prior to reconvening for the next stage of the study. Signed, An Observer Intermission: Tin Soldier Canister 1 by Jack Lancaster