Lazysloth's RPG (formerly Vanguard) is a monthly actual play tabletop roleplaying podcast featuring a Sloth and his many friends. We've play a different system every campaign to keep things spicy. Our podcast is kept family friendly by a team of baby sloths that edit out the bad words. We post our episodes on the 15th every month. Tune in to the goofs!
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Desperate Colonials - Session 3: The Desert of the False
1:59:04
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Send us a text Two great perils lay in the way of our unlikely desperados: the desert of the mind, with its mirages and false shimmers; and the actual blistering desert, wild and unforgiving.Di Sloth
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Desperate Colonials - Session 2: The End of the Line
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Send us a text To the West, at the end of the world, is a path where only dead men walk, greedily guarding their secrets from prying eyes. Will our players find salvation or damnation upon their arrival?Di Sloth
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Lazyslothrpg: The Great Big Nomventure
1:52:45
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Send us a text This month we have a special Bony Minus run by our friend Kerby! The Great BIG Nomventure! A neurodivergent-accessible kids' RPG full of storytelling and adorable Nomnisaurs from the team that brought you Dungeons & Dinos. Kickstarter link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/nomnivoregames/the-great-big-nomventure "Blippy Trance", …
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Desperate Colonials - Session 1: The Great Tree
2:34:43
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Send us a text Welcome to Shar, the jewel of its system - the arboreal home to our new cast of characters and the plights they endure. Angels fall while a new Emperor ascends, and the world order of the Great Tree is shaken.Di Sloth
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Eldritch Escape: The Ascension of Michael Smith - Episode 1
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Send us a text In this month's episode, we take a brief interlude from our regularly scheduled programming (due to scheduling conflicts) to begin the ascension of Michael Smith.Di Sloth
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Desperate Colonials - Session 0: The Zeroest Session of Them All
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Send us a text Our new campaign has begun at last! The month, Sloth gives an intro to the setting and house rules for our new campaign while walking our players through character creation. Session 1 of Desperate Colonials will publish in July. We would also like our audience to know that we got hacked last month - if you received any weird messages…
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Lazysloth's RPG: Monster of the Week Boney minis- Rocky Mountain Horror
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Send us a text In a first for the podcast, this month, Shira steps in as the GM, and Sloth steps out as a player in a session of Monster of the Week! In the city of Butte, Montana, four strange members of a local police outfit investigate an even stranger disappearance in the quiet mountain town. In every game Shira has ever run, Sloth's character …
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Lazysloth's RPG: Paranoia boney minis - Friend Computer is omnipibus!
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Send us a text Riding off the wave of bittersweet storytelling, this month, the Lazysloth pardcast brings you delusion, chaos, happiness pills, and most of all, Paranoia! Accept Friend Computer into your heart ̶o̶r̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ and embark on an important mission to raise morale with our Troubleshooters. This is all you may know - any further informat…
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Lazysloth's RPG: The Vanguard Session 45- Paradigm Shift
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Send us a text The Vanquishers unite Major City against Paradigm and work to solve a mystery that began when they entered the very first time entered the Vanguard tower. Can our heroes overcome a man who has never know defeat or will they end up just another pile of dust in this final session of The Vanguard?…
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Lazysloth's RPG: The Vanguard Session 44- 3 out of 4 aint bad
2:23:50
2:23:50
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Send us a text In this month's episode, the world's greatest threats begin to converge (and the inconveniences that are popping up are only making it worse)! Unfortunately, the strength they hoped to restore with the hot dogs they wished for was for naught, thanks to the guile of the Djinn (as expected). After braving some very spicy dogs, the Vanq…
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Lazysloth's RPG: Vanguard Session 43-Raiders of the Desert Doors
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Send us a text In this episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers continue to evade the Gatekeeper(s) in the Desert of Doors until they run into an unlikely...nozzle? They learn that their endeavor to save the world from Ohr and Tselel is not the first, and are able to secure a ride and an ally to find their door. However, what lies behind the thresh…
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Lazysloth's RPG:Vanguard session 42- Death, The Multiverse, and Nothing
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Send us a text Faced with so many impending crises, the Vanquishers decided to focus on ending the heat death of the Universe. Our heroes head back down the Russhole into the puppet dimension to see what's beyond the obsidian door.Di Sloth
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Lazysloth's RPG: Vanguard session 41- The end(s) of the world as we know it
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Send us a text In this month's episode, the Vanquishers face the end-of-the-world. And then another one. And then one last other end-of-the-world. Luckily, they do not face it alone. With the help of some old faces and some new, will our heroes be able to prevail against this triple threat? Or will they fall at the feet of their adversaries?…
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Lazysloth's RPG: Vanguard Session 40- It’s the End of the Muppetfluffing World!
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Send us a text Things are looking desperate as Golden Boy unleashes his pent up fury on a divided team of Vanquishers while Stampede gets lost in a dimension of head trauma and googly eyes.Di Sloth
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Lazysloth's RPG: Vanguard Session 39- The man at the edge of time
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Send us a text The Vanquishers return to major city after their jaunt back in time. Did they save Russ and their timeline from Oblivion? Only one way to find out.Di Sloth
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Lazysloth's RPG: Candela Obscura oneshot- The Case of the Bitter Muse
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Send us a text Our party is taking a break from major city this month to try out Darrington Press's game Candela Obscura! If you'd like to try it out for yourself you can find the quickstart guide and other info here. https://darringtonpress.com/candela/Di Sloth
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Lazysloth's RPG:Vanguard Session 38-DangerRuss Endeavors
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Send us a text The Vanquishers face their first end-of-the-world level threat when Russ (AKA DangeRuss, AKA Santa Claus) travels back in time to stop himself from winning a 5K race in the 1972 Olympics. Can our heroes preserve their time line? Or will the threads of fate weave misfortune for Major City, and the rest of the world as they knew it?…
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Vanguard Session 37 - Cleaning house
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Send us a text Emboldened by a distracted Major City, Paridigm takes steps to consolidate his power. The Vanquishers soon find he's not the only one taking advantage of the chaos. Insidious foes, both new and old, move in the shadows.Di Sloth
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Vanguard Session 36 - The Storm
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Send us a text With the prisoners of Naraka Prison released, chaos rules Major City. The Vanquishers enter a desperate struggle to save their home. Meanwhile, a mysterious force has begun to manipulate events and evidence behind the scenes.Di Sloth
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Vanguard Session 35 - Counterattack
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Send us a text The Vanquishers are back with double hero points and a fresh scheme to break into the most heavily guarded prison in Major City. Hidden eyes are watching their every move. Can they delve into the secrets of Naraka prison without becoming its newest residents? Let's find out!Di Sloth
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Kaiju Girls!!!!!!!!
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Send us a text You waited all month to listen to your favorite Pardcast. Sadly this month they didn't post. The resulting boredom compels you to tear your home apart in a desperate attempt to find something to do. In this tantrum you find a VHS tape in a dusty cardboard box left unopened from the last move. Its case is covered in creases, kitten st…
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Vanguard Session 34: The Vanquishers are in the MCU
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Send us a text With their legal battles and holiday shenanigans complete our heroes can return to their investigation of Naraka Prison. Eager to avoid further trouble with the law the vanquishers attempt more surreptitious methods of investigation.Di Sloth
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The Vanguard - Session 33: Christmas Special
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Send us a text Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Vanquisher crew! We wish you all the season's tidings and greetings we can muster. As with some Christmas traditions, some of us, not naming names, get a little sweet, sentimental, and just a tad political. But don't let us stop you from enjoying your holiday and join us for some superhero …
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The Vanguard -Session 32: The Barely Legal Threeway
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Send us a text In this month's episode, the Vanquishers engage in hardcore legal action with their families, freedoms, and beloved bartenders on the line! Listen as they investigate and interrogate their way towards the truth (despite lying under oath, whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )!Di Sloth
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Vanguard Session 31: Nobody is leaving!
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Send us a text After finally defeating the Vampirium agents in Major city our heroes take some well deserved downtime before taking their next case.Di Sloth
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Vanguard bonyminis omnibus part 2: Who's the Bossa & I want to be Somebody
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1:46:54
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Send us a text In part 2 of the Bonyminis collection the Wallaby finally gets his comeuppance while Mr. Nobody works on his acting Career.Di Sloth
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Vanguard bonyminis omnibus part 1: Waffling Wednesday & Sad Bulls**t
1:55:42
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Send us a text In order to get ahead on our recording schedule we've delayed session 31 until next month. Don't worry though, in it's place we have 4 different solo sessions for you to enjoy. In this session Lazarus struggles to get his errands done in a timely manner despite being the fastest sloth in the world. Meanwhile Stampede struggles to kee…
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Vanguard Session 30: Blood for Blood
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Send us a text In this month’s episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers across the Atlantic test the limits of the Vampirium’s hospitality while witnessing the tyranny within it. Meanwhile, Hoshi and Wallaby face a variegated vampiric foe on the homefront, or more aptly put, Hoshi’s front lawn.Di Sloth
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Vanguard Session 29: Temporary Hospitality, War Eternal
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Send us a text In this month's episode, the Vanquishers find themselves in the aftermath of the vampiric siege. The next dawn has risen, the electoral results are in, and the Vanquishers regroup and try to re-establish some normalcy. Sprinkles exhibits some magical behavior, Mr. Nobody has a shot at becoming somebody, Lazarus digs up some dirt, and…
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Vanguard Session 28: Cherry Blossom Massacre
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Send us a text In this month's episode, we finally turn back the clock to see the humble but bloody beginnings of our favorite murderous magical girl, Hoshi Onna. In the meantime, the Vanquishers brave the vampiric siege of the tower, their ranks waning at the dark forces of the Vampirium. This month's charity. https://worldorphans.org/…
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Vanguard Session 27: Midnight Strikes
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Send us a text Continuing their momentum from their recent victory, the Vanquishers continue their investigations into the Major city Vampire epidemic. Unfortunately for them the Vampirium has take notice of their actions and is preparing a response. Can our heroes survive? The updated version of this session is complete and uploaded!…
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The Vanguard - A Bony Minis Double Feature: Dial 6 for Murder & Gaslight, Gated Community, Girlboss!
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Send us a text In this months episode, the Vanguard presents a Bony Minis double feature! DIAL 6 for MURDER A long-awaited communique finally arrives for Lazarus from the elusive No. 6 with many surprises in store for their former 'buddy' Lazarus; a present, a threat, a choice, a sacrifice, and the resurgence of an even older enemy. GASLIGHT, GATED…
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Vanguard Session 26 part 2: Macy's Night Parade
1:27:22
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Send us a text In this month's episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers get caked and the players get cancelled. (Thanks Shira) However, both groups are able to compose themselves to further their case against Paradigm, gain some unexpected allies, find out more utterly terrifying news, and go to the club - for some high stakes business of course, …
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Send us a text In this month's episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers get caked and the players get cancelled. (Thanks Shira) However, both groups are able to compose themselves to further their case against Paradigm, gain some unexpected allies, find out more utterly terrifying news, and go to the club - for some high stakes business of course, …
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Vanguard Session 25: Serious Business
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Send us a text In this month's episode of the Vanguard, the Vanquishers regroup and reacquaint themselves with a former nimble-toed foe for a heist! They must infiltrate the Major City Mayoral Debate, fly under the radar of new and old members of the Dream Team, and record the damning evidence the Asset warned them of in order to clear the Wallaby'…
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Vanguard Session 24 BloodVessal part 2
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Send us a text In this month's bloodcurdling episode, the Vanquishers are still on the high seas! In the aftermath of their sudden boarding of the James Tesla, the Vanquishers thought they would finally have a proper explanation from Mr. Nobody, but to no avail. Instead they discover insidious secrets, and even darker, hungry silhouettes in the sha…
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Vanguard Session 24:Blood Vessel part 1
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Send us a text In this month's bloodcurdling episode, the Vanquishers are still on the high seas! In the aftermath of their sudden boarding of the James Tesla, the Vanquishers thought they would finally have a proper explanation from Mr. Nobody, but to no avail. Instead they discover insidious secrets, and even darker, hungry silhouettes in the sha…
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Send us a text In this bony minis episode, Hoshi and Boogie set out to find the next avatar of Rage; their choices are between a passionate boxer, a high-strung ceramicist, a verbose pirate radio host, and an unorthodox "community event organizer". Which one will fit the bill as the next avatar of Rage? Find out in this fun mini episode!…
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The Vanguard - Episode 23: Wretched Schemes
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Send us a text In this episode of the Vanguard, Mr. Nobody infiltrates the shady cargo ship and proves to Wretch's waking daymare. Lazarus and the rest of the Vanquishers are not far behind from their mysterious teammates' distress c̶a̶l̶l̶?̶ cough emoji. Lazarus finally gets to show off his inventions, Hoshi separates machine-gun toting mercenarie…
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The Vanguard - Episode 22: The Beat Down
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Send us a text **THIS MONTH'S EPISODE INCLUDES A CONTENT WARNING: Suicide, Self-Harm These are mentioned: 1:06:30 - 1:07:15 suicide pill mention 1:34:10 - 1:34:17 self-harm 2:02:10 - 2:02:26 self-harm Mental Health Resources mentioned: - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 - National Suicide Prevention Website: suicidepreventionlif…
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Send us a text In this "bony minis" episode, Mr. Nobody finds himself in the aftermath of a drunken bender with no cash, no phone, but a new job opportunity.Di Sloth
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THE VANGUARD - EPISODE 21 THE WIND-UP
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Send us a text In this month's episode, the Vanquishers dive deeper into the mystery and meet with new faces and obstacles along the way. The team is strained; the Wallaby's pockets are emptied as he is charged with his actions, as well the Asset's instructions from beyond her stone grave. Lazarus digs into No. 6's memory, Hoshi trails an ominous n…
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Send us a text While the rest of the Vanquishers investigate the mystery of the Asset's stone petrification, the Wallaby gathers his own clues while playing Magic the Gathering back in the Vanguard interrogation room. Will the Wallaby crack or will the Vanguard reveal their hand within their questions? (We are not sponsored by Magic the Gathering.)…
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The Vanguard - Episode 20: When It Rains, It Pours Part 2
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Send us a text In this month’s episode, the Vanquisher Tower has been drowned in a deluge of mystery! The Asset has been turned to stone and the blame is being turned towards the Vanquishers. The Wallaby has been taken in for questioning, while Lazarus, Mr. Nobody, and Hoshi are left to investigate the incident. In the meantime, Stampede becomes a …
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The Vanguard - Session 20: When It Rains, It Pours Part 1
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Send us a text In this month’s episode, the Vanquisher Tower has been drowned in a deluge of mystery! The Asset has been turned to stone and the blame is being turned towards the Vanquishers. The Wallaby has been taken in for questioning, while Lazarus, Mr. Nobody, and Hoshi are left to investigate the incident. In the meantime, Stampede becomes a …
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Vanguard Session 19: Nobody Knows What is Going On
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Send us a text In this month's episode, we get a look into Mr. Nobody's humble beginnings and his action-packed and slimy path on becoming, well, Nobody. The Wallaby grapples with his greatest foe so far: computer illiteracy, Lazarus brokers a deal between the Vanguard to hand over rogue Number 6, Hoshi goes out on the prowl, and Stampede quickens …
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Vanguard Session 18 Part 1: Starting Again
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Send us a text Our heroes open the doors to their new detective agency and the world is already spreading. They've been hired by two new clients in their first week. Good bye Vanguard hello Vanquishers!Di Sloth
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Vanguard Session 18 Part 2: Starting again
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Send us a text Our heroes open the doors to their new detective agency and the world is already spreading. They've been hired by two new clients in their first week. Good bye Vanguard Hello Vanquishers!Di Sloth
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The Vanguard - Session 17: Legacy of Failure
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Send us a text The gang find themselves navigating the webs of Communism, a hostage situation, and the sudden shut down of the Buddy Core. An old mistake comes back to haunt Lazarus as he travels with Buddy Prime to the Buddy Core, and everyone makes a new enemy of the Arachno-Communist as they are the only thing that stands in his way and Paradigm…
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Vanguard Session 16: Consequences
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Send us a text The gang find themselves in quite the Pickle™ on this month's episode of Vanguard! Stampede and Lazarus, the two bad eggs of the bunch in possession of THE baddest egg, have become wanted fugitives by the order of the Vanguard. The Wallaby navigates the legal repercussions of his battle with Wisp and settles more scores than the Vang…
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