How to Use Nonviolent Communication to Solve Conflicts

Belladonna Riso Real Estate Video Blog

How can the Nonviolent Communication Method by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg improve your life?

Want to sell your home? Get a FREE home value report.

Want to buy a home? Search all homes for sale.

Conflict resolution is a major aspect of my job. I want to share some of the top communication strategies I use to get people working together.
Most of the strategies I use are based on the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, a true pioneer who invented the Nonviolent Communication Method. This method has been used successfully for many years to do everything from negotiating peace in the Middle East to negotiating peace between warring couples or children and parents. His method is even used by top hostage negotiators all over the world.

“

Using this statement helps you start a really productive conversation.

Of course, I can only go over a few tips with you today, so make sure you check out his book called “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.”
Dr. Rosenberg’s method is based on the fact that as human beings, we have the same needs and experience the same emotions. The point of nonviolent communication is to get to the heart of the matter, which isn’t easy.
The problem is that most of us don’t have a comprehensive vocabulary for our feelings or our needs. You can visit www.cnvc.org/training/needs-inventory for a free Needs and Feelings Inventory list to get a handle on things. You can even message me and I will email you a copy of each.
That is a good place to get started, but how can you use this method in your day-to-day life?
Let’s say that you get home from work really late and that your significant other appears to be upset the minute that you walk in the door. You would use this statement: “Honey, are you feeling _____ because you need _____?” Of course, it is up to you to guess what your significant other is feeling and what they need.
It can be challenging to use this statement, especially if your significant other greets you by saying, “You are the most insensitive person I’ve ever met.” Don’t get angry. Simply say, “Are you feeling angry because you need to feel important and loved?”
This is a magic formula. People immediately drop their defenses before they respond. They will either say, “Yes, that is exactly it,” or “No, that’s not it at all.”
Now, you did not agree or disagree with them or rise to the bait; asking them this question helps you strike right to the heart of the matter. What are they feeling and what are they needing? Even if you didn’t accurately guess what they need and feel, you opened up the opportunity to have a really productive conversation.
That is just a tidbit of what nonviolent communication has to offer. Check out this video of a workshop by Dr. Rosenberg for more information. He really shows you how to start using nonviolent communication in your everyday life.
I hope you found this information useful. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I look forward to speaking with you!