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Episode 24: Caregivers Can Do Too Much
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It is so easy to get into the trap of doing everything for your elder parents or disabled spouse after they have sustained an injury or have a debilitating diagnosis. You may feel that you are making life easier for them when you cater to their every need but you could in fact be making things more difficult for them in the long run.
Yes, there is a time during the recovery phase that they require more assistance with task, but the amount of assist needed can decrease as strength and endurance is allowed to improve. Not everyone returns to their prior level of functioning after an illness but there is often a level of “new normal” that can be achieved which will allow them to function without always needing assist.
Each task that you totally do for them, takes away the opportunity for them to gain strength and mobility skills to improve in that area. You must provide opportunity for them to learn a new way, a different way of living. It is the daily movements of their bodies that can unlock hidden potential for improvements in activities of daily living (ADLs).
Yes, you can do things faster and just get things over with but you are also creating an environment where they are learning to totally depend on you for everything. And when this happens burnout, resentment can happen. This can be prevented it requires crafting of a plan that is centered on maximizing their skill level.
Finding A Foothold can help.
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