#31 The Second Great Denial

Come This Far with Chris Taylor

We all know about the first denial associated with addiction. The person that hasn’t been using substances or engaging in troubling behavior for very long. They are able to maintain some normalcy and can even hide their addiction. As they spiral downward, everyone around them can see what is happening; they are clearly addicted. But denial is real, and the person is quite literally blinded to the fact that their lives have become unmanageable and they need help. Interventions are staged, loved ones are brutally honest and usually, the individual is able to come to grips with the truth. They can admit that they are sick and can’t do it alone. They accept help. It’s a major step in the process of recovery. Some even say it’s as much as half the battle. The individual abstains from the addiction and seeks help. In the absence of their addiction, they have been able to find clarity. They gain tools to cope and the soul that seemed to be dead or greatly diminished returns to full health. It’s a miracle. Loved ones often say things like, “The real (enter name here) is back!” The person who was out of control earlier has now attained newfound happiness. They make amends, gain back trust, embark down a path of healing and restoration of their lives and families. They have triumphed. It’s human nature to want to declare victory and rest from the battle. Bask in the glory of overcoming great adversity. But what happens when a year or more into sobriety, something happens and relapse occurs? Shame comes screaming back. “I’ve been through so much, I’ve overcome so much, I’ve earned so much trust back, I don’t know what happened, but I’m ok. I’ll get back on the right path. Nobody needs to know I took some steps backward.” “I’m strong, I know how to recover, I’ve done it before, I can do it again.” “What would people think if they knew I had slipped up again? I don’t need help with this because I’ve learned all there is to know about addiction, seeking help now would only bring negative consequences, I’ll double my efforts in private. I can do it alone.” This second great denial is more dangerous than the first, it’s often more fatal. It’s why almost all of the people you know who have overdosed and died seem to have been doing so well. They had achieved some long term recovery. They had figured it out. It’s a shock. It wouldn’t have been a shock years earlier when everyone could tell they were struggling. But it’s so surprising now. That person was stuck in the second great denial. Unable to admit that they once again, needed some help. They couldn’t do it alone. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/comethisfar/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/comethisfar/support