For the Love of my 5 Children

Confessions

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Mari is a Latina woman diagnosed with HIV in 2006 at 19 years of age when she was pregnant with her first child. Mari is now 37; she lives in Los Angeles and has been living with HIV for 18 years.

Mari’s story is about how she has learned to be a mother facing multiple challenges: domestic violence in the form of verbal abuse, drug use, HIV diagnosis, incarceration, substance abuse treatment, being unhoused, living on the streets, and raising five children. A very complex task to take on for anyone.

When Mari was diagnosed with HIV, she had no methods for dealing with difficult emotions. She found a support system in Crystal, but it was not a person, she says it was crystal meth. She continued using substances for six weeks after conceiving. It was not until she was incarcerated that she started substance abuse recovery and became adherent to her HIV meds. She was released shortly after.

She has been pregnant four times and has five children. In her second pregnancy she had a set of twins. Her immediate family is composed of her husband, four girls and a boy: “the king of the house” her youngest.

Mari has worked so hard to have good control of her life and practice gentle parenting. Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is extremely hard, she comments.

For Mari, the most challenging situation as a woman with HIV was disclosure. It prevented her from accessing many services for her children because of her own self-stigmatization; however, she came up with a way to resolve this matter. She recorded a podcast episode and since then has found relief. Now she can talk freely about HIV, sexual health and other topics historically considered taboo in the Latinx community.

Breast feeding her children was something that was also robbed from her due to her HIV diagnosis. However, the guidelines have changed, and for many women with HIV, breastfeeding has become an option - after talking with their medial provider.

Mari now works as a Peer Navigator in a prestigious public university in Los Angeles. She dedicates herself to helping women with HIV, drawing from her own experience. She helps them to be comfortable in their own skin and empowers them to be adherent to treatment and medication. Mari is currently attending school to obtain a bachelor’s degree. Her goal is to become a Social Worker, and she is on her way.

In this compelling episode, Mari shares how she has resolved challenges related to HIV, how she has become a good mother, and how to blossom and thrive despite an unhappy childhood all for the love of her 5 children.

Funding provided by the Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA) Ending the HIV Epidemic Grant and the County of Los Angeles, Department of Public Health, Division of HIV and STD Programs

This podcast is brought to you by the Los Angeles Family AIDS Network