A Recovery from Faith - On Sex and Consent

Forsaking Faith

Both Christine and Heather talk about the ways in which ideas about consent affected their first encounters with sex both as Christians and as Deconverts. They both have a wish that the attention that’s being given to conversations surrounding consent will also permeate through the Christian community.

Heather discusses the way that she had a very strict understanding of sex before she deconverted. She viewed it as something that should happen in the context of marriage and that it was going to be a transcendental experience. She never had any conversations about how to negotiate sex and relationships in a practical way, and in particular, no concept of agency or consent. Unfortunately as a result of her mentality, her first sexual experience was negative because she was taken advantage of by someone who did not ask for her consent. Heather discusses this experience bluntly and then talks about what she learned as a result and how it affected her other relationships. She now recognizes that she has agency over her own body and that consent is crucially important. She discusses how she now has a positive view of sex after recognizing that she is in control over what experiences she chooses to have.

Christine talked about how she felt like a “slut” during her early sexual life because of the contrast between her and her Christian peers, even though the secular world considered her a “good girl.” Her church family treated her like a pariah of sorts, not in an extreme way, as some religions may have, but as though she needed more love and forgiveness than others in the church. Fornication seemed like a worse sin than others, and because of this it set a precedent for the lack of agency in sex that Christine felt she had until she deconverted.

If you are enjoying the podcast, please subscribe, rate, and review! Also, send thoughts, artwork, poetry, or other expressive media that tells a piece of your deconversion story and we will try to feature them in one of our openings or endings. These can be sent to [e-mail]. Catch you next Sunday!

Thank you, Courtney, for opening montage

And for the short piece of fiction:

Heather's dear friend, Amy

We also would like to extend a huge thank you to all of you, our listeners. We are truly grateful for your support.