Managing Healthy Relationships

On the Couch with Dr Tracie Rogers

Akilah Riley Richardson is with me for this episode of On the Couch, and we are talking about how we handle emotions in our intimate partner relationships. Emotions create a powerful force that can strengthen or undermine the 'couple system'. Healthy couples have heated arguments and stressful interactions; however what distinguishes them from unhealthy couples, is their capacity for emotional intelligence. These couples have an awareness of the emotions in the room and manage them in a wise and empathetic way. They have created the emotional safety to contain negative emotions, and more importantly to drill down to the heart of the matter. Building an emotionally healthy relationship is not magic, instead, it takes a commitment and willingness to have 'hard conversations' in a non-judgemental manner. It requires creating an emotionally safe space where partners can be vulnerable and heard without fear and judgement. In this 2-part episode, Akilah and I peel through the expression of secondary emotions like anger, and discuss how creating a safe space for the expression of primary emotions like fear, hurt and rejection can be a game changer. You can create a positive emotional climate to weather any emotional storm, but first, you must get real about your truest feelings and maintain a space of trust, safety and unconditional acceptance.

Start building a better US now! Here is a strategy to help you tune into painful emotions in relationships. Using the mnemonic device “C.E.A.S.E Fire”, you can break unhealthy communications cycles and address underlying emotions that are undermining your relationships.