Choose Your Hard

Five Minute Family

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning. Today, we want to share something that has made an impact in a number of lives and the Bible verses that apply.

Recently in a mentoring session, a lady and I were discussing how difficult it is to fight for a relationship when trust has been broken. I remembered a saying that I had heard a couple of years ago while I was going through a tough medical time.

“Marriage is hard; divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard; being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard; being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard; miscommunication is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Choose wisely.”

One who walks with wise people will be wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

And, Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

If your family has an addiction to screen time, it. Will. Be. Hard. to stop using devices so often. But, it would be hard for your children to apply self-control, to have good mental health, to maintain a proper weight, and to desire physical fitness, IF you do not do the hard thing and put device controls in place.

Choose your hard.

If your family has a habit of clamming up and waiting for the emotion of anger to pass before communicating again, it will be hard to be honest and transparent about the conflicts that arise. But, not talking these things out may manifest in no communication at all as the children grow up, causing ongoing hurts and wounds that last a lifetime.

Choose your hard.

Making decisions to not eat out after church each Sunday because the family budget needs to stabilize can be hard. You may feel a loss of fellowship with other church members. You may have to wait until the meal at home has been prepared. But, continuing to spend more money than you are making for the convenience of not cooking a meal, will be hard - with credit card payments, bad credit, difficulty saving for the future, for urgent, random expenses such as to pay for emergency dental care when a child needs a root canal.

Choose your hard.

Mentoring, counseling, speaking with your pastor… those are hard. It can be embarrassing to admit you and your family don’t have all the answers and aren’t doing everything right. But, getting help in the early stages of difficult moments can help train your family to better handle a major life change. Not going to mentoring or counseling can lead to broken relationships and bitterness and resentment taking root.

Choose your hard.

This is not about pushing yourself at all costs. If you are choosing the hard of getting up 30 minutes early to set up a habit of exercising, but you never take a rest day, then you are not choosing the hard every day. We all need rest. Physical fitness experts do NOT recommend formal exercise every single day, nor do they recommend extreme caloric restriction, except in isolated cases under a doctor’s care. So, choosing your hard isn’t about always pushing yourself; it is about choosing wisely in each moment. Just as Ecclesiastes expresses, there is a time for everything. Which means, the hard you choose will not always be the same hard as the day before.

Choose your hard.

If you feel frustrated or take offense to the “choose your hard” mentality, please know that we are not speaking to everyone at this moment. Sometimes, we cannot choose. Someone does not choose a cancer diagnosis. No one chooses to lose the person they love the most. Choices are often made for us. Finances bind us. Choosing between food on the table or gas in the car to get to work in order to try to make money to put food on the table… that doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels like a trap. But, God can help you make the smallest of changes to see you to the next option. If you are trying to choose between food and gas for food, then you may need to first choose to sign up for government or nonprofit assistance. Again, that is hard, but if you are able to make the choice to get the help you need, then prayerfully, the next choice will be just a tad easier.

Remember, five-minute families, just as Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Choose God. Life will still be hard, but you will have the ability to deal with the situations that arise with grace, mercy, and forgiveness. And you will have a biblical community of wisdom to glean from. Be blessed!