How To Handle Homeschool Detours

The Homeschool Sanity Show

Hey, homeschoolers! If you’re not where you expected to be in your homeschool, I’ve got you. In this episode, you’ll learn why we find ourselves on a detour, how we can get even more off track, and 5 tips for reaching our destination quickly.

Watch on YouTube

First, let’s define a homeschool detour.

Detours for our purposes can be taking the same route we planned, but it’s taking far longer than we thought. This was the most common detour for me. I experienced a version of it every one of my 25 years of homeschooling. We didn’t get through the curriculum as quickly as we thought we would. Or we didn’t even start it. That happened more times than I’d like to admit, too. The character issues that I thought my kids would master right away were still being learned in high school.

A classic detour, though, is taking a different route to the destination because the intended route wasn’t available or workable. Homeschool detours can be anything new that you weren’t planning: classes, schedule, approach, baby, job, home.

Why do we find ourselves on these detours?

One obvious reason that applies in the wake of Hurricane Helene is events out of our control. Illness, a facility closure, a job loss.

Other detours are more the result of a family member’s choice: your spouse needs you to work, your teen wants to go to school, your child wants to compete at an elite level.

Finally, there are detours that are the result of our choices. I do think detours can have all three characteristics at once. Something happens that’s out of your control. Your spouse wants to do something about that. And your choice solidifies your direction.

Years ago, I was driving my family home from the beach, a 12-hour drive with stops. I entered our home address into my phone’s GPS and was on my way. My husband was in the back of our van, watching movies with the kids. After the movie was over, he said, “I don’t recognize this town.” I waved him off, telling him that I was taking the route the GPS told me. But the truth was I didn’t recognize it either. I figured I just hadn’t paid attention on our last trip or the GPS was taking me on a better, faster route.

The first reason we find ourselves on a detour of our own making is because we aren’t paying attention. I wasn’t looking at the surroundings as I drove. I also didn’t check my son’s math homework for weeks, only to realize he hadn’t been doing it. I wasn’t checking my son’s laundry, so I didn’t realize he’d been putting his clean laundry in his dirty clothes hamper just so he wouldn’t have to put it away.

I was on a coming-home-from-vacation detour primarily because I wasn’t paying attention. But the second reason we find ourselves on a detour of our own making is because we trusted but didn’t verify. I trusted my GPS to navigate me home but I didn’t verify that it was giving me the fastest route. I trusted my kids to do the right thing and didn’t verify. But I also trusted homeschool and parenting experts that if I did everything they said to do that my kids would be giants of the faith with full-ride scholarships. You won’t be surprised to hear that I haven’t yet arrived at that destination.

The third reason we find ourselves on a detour of our own making is our pride. “I know what I’m doing!” I thought, as my husband expressed doubt in our direction. He didn’t know what was going on, I thought. He’s too busy watching a movie! When someone questions our homeschooling or parenting, we may dig our heels in and do even more rather than admit to our weakness.

A few more hours went by on our drive home and my husband piped up again. “I don’t recognize this town either. Are you sure we’re on the right route?” Actually, I think he was a lot more forceful than that, but I’m giving him grace in the retelling of it.

“Uhhh,” I stammered. I couldn’t study the map as I was driving and my husband didn’t know how to use my app. I kept driving.

How can we get even more off track?

The first way we can get even more off track on a detour is avoidance. I got on a detour home by not paying attention. I got even further astray by avoiding the issue. I didn’t look at the route GPS had mapped out for us. When something in our homeschool isn’t working, it can be frightening to think about. So we may choose to do anything else but think about it. Meanwhile we’ve gone even further off track. You might avoid discussing a child’s learning disability or what you’ll do if a potential layoff happens. Meanwhile the fear gets bigger and the potential consequences worse. You want to avoid dealing with the issue even more than before.

The second way we can get even more off track is blaming others. In my mind, the only problem with our route home was my husband complaining about not recognizing it. He didn’t understand GPS like I did. If he wanted to drive, then he could choose the route! When the doctor, the co-op teacher, or your child is to blame for your detour, you can continue avoiding it. It’s someone else’s problem to solve. But if that person doesn’t act to get you back on track, the problem will grow.

The third way we can get even more off track is guilt. I secretly felt guilty that I had not looked at the route my GPS chose before I took off. I hadn’t verified it and to make matters worse, I had ignored my husband’s concerns. I worried about what it would mean if I was responsible for making our long ride home even longer. And even though I blamed the boys for their dishonesty with math and chores, I felt responsible. If I had allowed my guilt about it to make me fearful and avoid the issue, the problem would have continued and gotten worse.

Homeschool moms often feel guilt about every aspect of their family’s lives because they feel overly responsible. In addition to more avoidance, guilt can also lead to rash course correction. Turning around and heading back to the beach so I could take a better route would have been crazy, but so would dropping our math curriculum that had been working well and choosing to put away all my kids’ laundry myself.

I’ll share what happened when I finally admitted I was on a detour after this message from our sponsor: CTC Math.

Before we dig in, I want to thank our sponsor: CTC Math.

Sponsor: CTC Math

Are you looking for a new Math Curriculum?

CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Favorably reviewed in Cathy Duffy’s 102 Top Picks and The Old Schoolhouse Crew Review, the lessons are short and concise to help your children break down concepts and appreciate math in a whole new way!

The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.

Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.

Visit c-t-c-math.com today to start your free trial.

How to Get On Track After a Detour

I finally pulled over and studied the route GPS had me on. I couldn’t deny that I didn’t recognize the route any longer. The shocker was realizing that it had me go two hours out of our way on top of a 12-hour trip. I would love to say it was because of a road closure or an error in the app. But the truth was I wasn’t paying attention, blamed my husband out of pride, and avoided dealing with the issue out of guilt.

When you realize you’re on a homeschool detour, here’s what to do to get to your destination quicker.

• • Take stock of where you are. Sometimes it won’t be pretty. It certainly wasn’t for me. I had added two hours to an already long trip. But often it’s not as bad as you fear. You’ll never be able to course correct until you admit where you are. Get an assessment. Gather data. See how much has to be done to get up to speed. It can be painful but not as painful as continuing on the same path.

• • Determine the best way forward. Don’t look back. It was tempting for me to fantasize about going back in time to take a different route. Instead I looked at the map to see how we could get on the fastest route home. Given your current circumstances, what can you do to meet your goals in the quickest, most reasonable way?

• • Ask for help. The truth is I am directionally challenged. I can follow verbal directions from my app, but navigating from a map is much harder. I showed my husband the map and he gave me his advice for getting back on the best route. It’s humbling to ask for help, but it also builds the helper’s confidence. My husband doesn’t like not being tech savvy. He loved feeling smarter than the GPS. Talk to veteran homeschoolers, teachers with experience in a particular area, and homeschool-friendly professionals about the challenge. You’ll build them up and help yourself at the same time.

• • Trust God. God alone knows how natural disasters, other people’s choices, and our own weaknesses will interact to put us on a detour. What’s even more incredible is that He uses these circumstances to get us where He wants us. Was there a reason I ended up driving two hours out of our way? Maybe! But I know that He is my Guide and yours. He doesn’t want us to worry about our homeschool or our family. Trust in Him and follow His leading. Of course, we can and should ask Him for help in the first place. I did not pray for GPS guidance I’ll admit.

• • Finally, have a sense of humor. I was amazed that my husband and kids weren’t furious with me when I broke the news. I shouldn’t have been. Even at that time, I had a long history of them giving me grace and not thinking a thing of my failings that I imagine are so monumental. I apologized and took responsibility for it and it was over. Except we laugh about this detour often. I hope you can laugh at some of the minor detours you’ve taken in your homeschool journey, too.

Conclusion

We get on homeschool detours when we don’t pay attention, trust but don’t verify, and are prideful. We can get on an even longer detour when we avoid dealing with the issue, blame others, or feel guilty about it. The quickest way to get back on track after a detour is to take stock of where you are, determine the best way forward, ask for help, Trust God, and have a sense of humor.

I have a postscript to this. Last year I was driving four hours to visit a friend and then continuing on a couple hours to stay with my mom. I had driven more than three hours when my husband called. He asked me if I had seen the new bridge on the drive. “No,” I said. “You know I don’t pay attention to that stuff.” My ADD is in high gear when I’m driving. He asked me

I would love to hear about any funny detours you’ve taken. Screenshot this podcast and tag @homeschoolsanity on social media. Thanks again to CTC Math for their sponsorship. Have a happy homeschool week!

The post How To Handle Homeschool Detours appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.