Player FM - Internet Radio Done Right
Checked 14h ago
Aggiunto uno anno fa
Contenuto fornito da Paul H. Byerly. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Paul H. Byerly o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.
Player FM - App Podcast
Vai offline con l'app Player FM !
Vai offline con l'app Player FM !
The XY Code explicit
Segna tutti come (non) riprodotti ...
Manage series 3538722
Contenuto fornito da Paul H. Byerly. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Paul H. Byerly o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.
Decoding the Male Mind
…
continue reading
166 episodi
Segna tutti come (non) riprodotti ...
Manage series 3538722
Contenuto fornito da Paul H. Byerly. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Paul H. Byerly o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.
Decoding the Male Mind
…
continue reading
166 episodi
Tutti gli episodi
×Last week over on The Generous Husband , I talked about men who make their already rocky marriage worse by getting Hyper-Spiritual. Or pseudo-spiritual, as one fellow suggested better described it. I’ve not seen this as often from women, but I have seen it. In women, it seems to be more of a drift than a hard turn. If you think your husband’s spirituality is lacking, you are in dangerous territory. If you think most of your marriage problems are because he has fallen away from the Lord, your marriage is in dangerous territory. I realise some marriages are in trouble because of the husband’s lack of faith. I also know that for every case where this is correct, there are several where the wife is judging different as wrong. We’re not all the same, and that includes how we relate to God. A person can be very serious about God and not drip Bible verses or pray out loud multiple times a day. And some folks who wear their Christianity on their sleeve are as fake as a three dollar bill. The real problem with questioning his spirituality is that it will probably do more harm than good. It’s unlikely it will cause him to follow God more closely, and it will damage your marriage. As I said to the men, if you’re not giving grace and forgiveness at every turn, you’re not treating your husband as Jesus would have you treat him. ~ Paul – I’m XY, and let’s not even talk about finding anointing oil in odd places… Image Credit: © georgerudy | stock.adobe.com Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post Judging His Faith Hurts Your Marriage appeared first on The XY Code .…
Sex isn’t as intuitive as we think. Lori and I have worked with folks who had all kinds of problems when they got married because sex is neither as simple nor as obvious as expected. Some couples struggled because they got no real sex education. Others had problems because they thought porn qualified as sex education. Throw in nervousness and shyness, and a couple’s first sex can be anything from disappointing to frustrating to disastrous. But it’s not just the first few times. Some couple’s early problems follow them for years or decades. Some women don’t enjoy sex, or don’t enjoy it as they could, because of things the couple has never figured out. Some men turn to porn and their own hand because sex with their wife is just too confusing and frustrating. Even couples who have worked it out pretty well may have some area where they have just given up. If any of this sounds like your sex life, please don’t settle. Know you’re not alone. Most couples have some part of sex that’s not really working for them. And most could get past it with a bit of effort. Talk with hubby. Ask hard questions, and be open and honest. Try some hands on sex education. Get a book. Seek third party help . Don’t let embarrassment or fear keep you from all that God wants you to have! ~ Paul – I’m XY, and sex is not as intuitive as we pretend. Image Credit: © LP Design | stock.adobe.com Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post Navigating the Complexities of Sex appeared first on The XY Code .…
We meet weekly with three other couples for a small group with a marriage focus. We have been working through Kyle Idleman’s book Gods at War: Defeating the Idols that Battle for Your Heart . The book is about the things we allow to become idols in our lives. Recently we did the chapter on sex. Sex is a huge idol in our culture. Men are more given to worshipping at the altar of sex than women, but plenty of women are right there with them. One woman in our group suggested another form of sexual idolatry, sex as an angry God to be appeased. I had never thought of it this way, but it seems valid. It is a negative rather than a positive, but I think it is idolatry all the same. What I find interesting is this means it is sex, not a person, being appeased. If sexual appeasing pre-dates marriage, then more than one’s spouse is being appeased. But we tend to pin things on people, so it would be natural for a wife in this situation to think it’s all about her husband. ~ Paul – I’m XY, and my sexual idolatry was porn. Gods at War: Defeating the Idols that Battle for Your Heart by Kyle Idleman Paperback Kindle [This post first appeared Nov 07, 2014 .] Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post WBW: Unmasking Sexual Idolatry in Christian Marriage appeared first on The XY Code .…
Last week, I talked to the guys about getting marriage help when you need it. Today it’s your turn. I realise women are more likely to suggest and to attend counselling, therapy, or coaching. So maybe what you want to know is how to get him to go. There’s definitely some pride involved in men not getting help. But more often men avoid couple’s help because they think it is a way of telling him what he’s doing wrong while she gets a pass. This is particularly a concern when the third party is a woman. Convince hubby you want to discover what both of you can do to make your marriage better, and he will be less resistant. Suggesting that dealing with some of your issues will improve your sex life will also motivate him. And, if you have significant sexual struggles, putting them on the list of things to deal with is a good idea. Along these lines, Lori and I now do marriage coaching through Aldrich Ministries . Aldrich offers coaching for both individuals and couples, and most marriage issues can be addressed by coaching. Coaching is less expensive than therapy, and because it can be done across state lines and internationally, you have access to a great team no matter where you live. Depending on your needs, you may or may not be paired with us. There are people who do story work, coaching for men or women, and help with porn and other unwanted sexual urges. Also, available are pre-marital and help with sexual difficulties. If cost is a concern, there’s a sliding scale. ~ Paul – I’m XY, and where was this when we first got married? Image Credit: © Liubomir | stock.adobe.com Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post Encouraging Your Husband to Seek Marriage Help appeared first on The XY Code .…
More than once it has been suggested to me that I talk too much about sex here. Friday’s post is always about sex. Wayback Wednesday is sometimes about sex. And sex gets mentioned as an aside in some posts not primarily about sex. I’d guess at least half of my posts touch on sex in some way. So yeah, I talk about it a lot. Here’s the thing: sex is a big deal to most men, and it affects how they think and act. So a blog about understanding men will deal with sex a good deal. What’s more, sex is a common point of contention in marriages, so a marriage focused blog should deal with sex. Look beyond the sex, and consider where I reveal how sex impacts what your husband thinks, says, and does. Consider this Wednesday’s post about how your hormones affect your life; twice I suggested you could get him more interested in the topic by bring up a valid sexual aspect of the subject. Generally my intention is not to use sex as advertisers do, adding it to things that have nothing to do with sex. Instead, I want you to understand that a lot of things link to sex in his mind. Beyond that, I’m not opposed to using sex to get his attention as long as it’s not manipulative or misleading. If him not doing certain things decreases your interest in sex, telling him that is honest and may make things better for both of you. On the other hand, refusing sex is a sure but bad way to get his attention. And using sex to punish him is a horrible idea. Explaining reality is fine, but intentionally using sex to hurt or manipulate will not end well for your marriage. ~ Paul – I’m XY, and this is how God made us. Image Credit: © Pavel | stock.adobe.com Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post Why I Talk About Sex So Much appeared first on The XY Code .…
I regularly tell men they should know their wife’s cycle as well as she does. Regardless of how easy or horrible your cycle is, your husband can make things easier if he has a clue. For some men, this is a self-preservation issue; for all of us, it should be a matter of kindness. I point men to my Her Cycle article as a starting place. Thing is, you’re an individual, and no article is going to tell your husband all he could and should know about your personal dance of the hormones. You’re the only person who can fully educate him. If he seems unwilling to listen, tell him what he learns could make his life easier. If you really want to get his full attention, tell him your cycle affects your sex drive. Talk to him about how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically at various points in your cycle. Talk about bloating and soreness, feeling grumpy and feeling like you’re in a mental fog. Tell him when each happens, and the struggles those things cause you. Explain you’re not trying to get a pass on how you act, rather you want him to understand why you may find it difficult to be your usual sweet self at times. Then give him updates about where you are in your cycle, and what he can expect the next few days. Tell him what he could do to make things easier or make you more comfortable. Again, you can increase his interest by discussing sex. If you have a few days of higher drive, be sure to “warn him” by saying something like “Beware: I’m approaching the horny part of my cycle.” ~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have sympathy for the hormone roller-coaster my XX sisters ride. [This post first appeared Nov 5, 2014 .] Image Credit: © Photo by Grant Davies on Unsplash Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page We’re donation supported Thanks for your help! This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info. The post WBW: Teaching Your Husband About Your Cycle appeared first on The XY Code .…
Benvenuto su Player FM!
Player FM ricerca sul web podcast di alta qualità che tu possa goderti adesso. È la migliore app di podcast e funziona su Android, iPhone e web. Registrati per sincronizzare le iscrizioni su tutti i tuoi dispositivi.