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Sucker Punched

Becky L McCoy

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We don't expect life to be so hard. Suffering is for other people. And then loss and disappointment knock us flat like a sucker punch. Join Becky L McCoy as her guests share their stories of hard moments in life and how they are choosing to live bravely and authentically. Get cozy with a cup of coffee or clean the house while you listen. Either way, join in and consider sharing your Sucker Punched story with us. (formerly Stories of Unfolding Grace)
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show series
 
Grief changes us. In many ways, we become a better version of ourselves. It doesn’t mean the loss we experienced was “good,” but it can be a really good teacher. How do we learn from our grief when it’s also one of the most painful experiences in life? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: DoorDash:…
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A friend has recently lost a loved one and you hate seeing the pain the grief is causing them. You want to love them and support them through this time, but you don’t want to overwhelm them. You want them to know you’re there, but you’re afraid of doing the wrong thing. How do you help a grieving friend? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR TH…
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You’ve experienced a great loss and it’s so overwhelming that you have to make life really small for a while, just to survive. What do you do when you disappear from life for long enough that you’re not sure if the people, places, and things you love most will be patient enough to wait for you? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE…
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Have you ever been so tired of grief? So ready for it to be ‘over’ or at the very least ready for a break? What do you do when you’re tired of grieving? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Audible Premium Plus: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Audible Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo Harry’s Trees by Jon Co…
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You’ve experienced a great loss and have been deep in the thick of the grief fog. You’ve been just surviving until now but you’ve got to get back on top of the things you’ve neglected. But how do you grieve when you have work to get done and relationships to tend to? Where does grief fit into regular life? CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR …
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One of the most awkward and painful parts of grieving, one of those sneaky little things no one warns you about, is that you lose yourself to the grief. It’s as if parts of you died, too. You forget your strengths, your passions, and the things that used to bring you joy. And as you start to come out of the fog of the initial grief storm, you reali…
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When you’ve experienced a great loss, it takes some time to get back on your feet again. You’re not the same as before the loss, but you’re doing your best. And then, seemingly, from out of nowhere, a grief trigger runs you over, leaving you feeling like you’re back at square one. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTION…
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When you’ve experienced a great loss, you know that life will never be the same. You don’t want to be paralyzed by grief - you want to heal and experience joy and love - but how do you do that while still honoring the great pain and the absence of someone you love? When you’ve experienced a great loss, you know that life will never be the same. You…
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You’re crawling out of the pit where you’ve been living with your grief and you look around to see you’ve only been living an outline of a life. You know you can’t go back to your life before, but you have no vision for what comes next. And that’s when you realize it’s time to start dreaming again. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPI…
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When the calendar changed from 2022 to 2023, many people took a deep breath, let out a sigh, and wished things were different. While others were brainstorming resolutions or picking a word to focus their intentions on, those of us who have experienced loss were accepting the fact that we were entering yet another year without loved ones. What do yo…
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For most of my life, I would’ve proudly called myself a perfectionist. Doing things well and with precision is important to me. But over the years I’ve realized that the ‘perfectionist’ label is one of the most unhealthy stories I’ve told myself. CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Shop 30% OFF Ou…
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Feeling in control can give us an illusion of being safe. Safe from loss. Safe from trauma. Safe from feeling any bad feelings. And when - despite our best efforts - we can’t predict or control everything that happens to us, we feel like we’ve failed or (worse) that we are the failure itself. It’s an exhausting, defeating cycle that can leave you w…
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Sometimes when we share the innermost parts of ourselves we leave the encounter feeling like we’ve been stripped bare, sometimes even flayed on the altar of vulnerability. It can even feel like a hangover - like you can’t face the world and your whole self is now too tender to even try. CLICK HERE FOR THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED…
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We all experience loneliness. And we all have a built in desire to feel like we belong. But when we realize that loneliness and belonging can co-exist - what do we do with that? CLICK HERE FOR THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 40% of Spiritual Direction & Coaching with Becky: BeckyLMcCoy.com/SpiritualDirection-FlashSa…
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When it comes to friendship, there’s some kind of unspoken fear that we have to have it all together or our friends won’t want to be our friends anymore. Do you find yourself worrying that if your friends could see your *insert weakness, fault, or fear here* they’d go running? What if friendship was less about two perfect people finding each other …
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If friends aren’t the people we play with at recess or live down the hall from in the college dorm, what are they? Why do we need them if not to have a friend for hide and seek or someone to share the highs and lows of growing up with? Why do we even need friends at all? CLICK HERE FOR THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE…
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You know that healthy friendships are an essential part of your mental health and well-being, but it feels like making friends as an adult should be easier. Why does it seem like everyone else has it figured out and you’re just sitting there hoping for someone to adopt you and be best friends forever and never have to make a new friend again? CLICK…
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Some of us grew up thinking that our faith was a permanent, immovable object and that any whiff of change or dissonance was a personal failure. But what happens when you realize that the ways you’ve always understood and practiced your beliefs are unhealthy and need to shift? CLICK HERE FOR THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EP…
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It’s easy to feel like who we are is made up of all the things we can offer people - we are worth the sum of our productivity and helpfulness. But what happens when we have nothing to offer? Do my friends want me just for who I am or for the value I add to their lives? What kind of a friend am I if I have nothing to give? It’s terrifying to be vuln…
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Have you ever worried what would happen if you had to be honest about your imperfections? Do you feel like life is sometimes a Jenga tower, balanced on some of your strengths with each weakness only precariously holding up the blocks above them? Do you acknowledge your weaknesses or do you prefer to pretend like they’re not there? Are you holding y…
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We’ve got to do lists a mile long and they’re only getting longer. Just when we feel like we are getting a handle, something else comes up. And the longer our lists, the higher our stress. How could we possibly build and live lives of meaning when we are lost, like a kid in a ball pit, under the pile of our obligations and commitments? CLICK HERE F…
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Have you ever been so overwhelmed by your own inability to get stuff done, so frustrated by your ability to fail so easily that you’ve only been able to see yourself as a walking liability? Like you’re a burden to everyone you come across? Like you’d be a better friend, sister, mother, *insert relationship here* if you were just better at…everythin…
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You're coming out of a seasonal depressive episode, getting back to what, you know, as normal life and a global pandemic hits. You're trying to figure out how can we live in a community when we're all so isolated. This is Sucker Punched. Jessica Kantrowitz is a writer, editor, and workshop leader living in Boston, Massachusetts. She is the author o…
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You travel for work as a speaker and strategist working in faith politics and the American public life, then a global pandemic hits. Your travel is grounded and you're stuck wondering how can policy and politics give us hope now and in the future? This is Sucker Punched. Michael is considering the impact of a global pandemic on both personal and po…
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You're running a nonprofit encouraging and helping women around the country. Then a global pandemic hits. You're single living alone and mostly isolated due to an autoimmune disease. Holly is figuring out what it looks like to live through a global pandemic as a single person who lives alone. She finds herself feeling like she's floating away and g…
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You're working in an inpatient psychiatric facility. A global pandemic hits. While your job is considered essential, you begin to have extreme fight, flight or freeze responses to all the trauma. Kristina is navigating her own grief and depression while helping women in an inpatient psychiatric facility through the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemi…
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Marlena lost her job at a non-profit in February. Her mom had major surgery in March. And then a global pandemic hit. Marlena discusses what it means to be a neighbor and show compassion when we can't be in the same space as other people due to the COVID-19 quarantine. Links from the episode: - Terrence Lester's organization Love Beyond Walls Marle…
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Trillia Newbell and Becky wrap up the burnout series with a discussion on how to prevent it with healthy boundaries, margin, and regular rhythms of rest through the practice of sabbath. Check out Trillia's new book: If God Is For Us Links from this episode: Trillia's talk from the BRAVEtogether Virtual Retreat Trillia's book God's Very Good Idea Bo…
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Seth, a writer and creator, has been exploring what it means to be addicted to and burned out on social media. Check out Seth's book Coming Clean. Links from this episode: DREAM: BRAVEtogether Virtual Retreat 2/23/19 BLOG: What You Need to Know About Burnout From a Single Parent Seth's favorite Twitter follows: Emily P Freeman, Tsh Oxenreider, Russ…
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Dorina was the primary caregiver for her husband when he battled melanoma. She learned to grieve when they had to give up the non-profit they were running and also when her husband passed away. The weight of grief as a widow and the heaviness of secondary losses left Dorina exhausted and burned out. As Dorina says, "it takes a lot of courage to res…
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Amber discusses the effects of burnout on creativity and productivity. After a year of creative burnout, Amber learned how to let go of and adjust her expectations and care for herself and discovered a new confidence in herself and her work. Links from this episode: PODCAST: Holiday Burnout Episode #59 Meditation Apps: Headspace and Calm DREAM: BRA…
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It's the Becky episode! Becky L McCoy talks with Becky Kiser about avoiding burnout at the holidays and Becky's new book, Sacred Holidays. Get your copy of Sacred Holidays! Links from this episode: Sacred Holidays by Becky Kiser Sacred Holidays Advent Bible Studies: For All and He Is Advent Candles BLOG: What You Need to Know About Burnout From a S…
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Becky and Chantel resume their conversation on burnout, the importance of community, and working from rest, not resting from work. Links from this episode: Ep. 57 - Chantel Runnels; Burnout, Work, & Rest Pt. 1 SWOT Analysis BRAVEtogether Virtual Retreat Recording PERSEVERANCE (including Chantel's story) BRAVEtogether Virtual Retreat Recording Winte…
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When Chantel is burned out, she finds herself being weary and impatient and has used the enneagram to discover that her burnout includes avoidance, impatience, and Marshmallow Dream Bars. Coming out of a season of burn out requires Chantel to prioritize rest, sleep, eating well, and exercising. Links from this episode: Essentialism by Greg McKeown …
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Alia Joy lives with chronic illness and has found herself deeply disappointed by the parts of life she misses out on because of it. Her asthma makes it difficult to breath during wild fire season where she lives and when she's got an upper respiratory virus on top of it, she misses out on time with her family, namely: summer vacation. PREORDER ALIA…
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Tasha felt like a disappointment when one of her first births as a doula did not go as expected. She struggled with the guilt of feeling inadequate, she felt like she had failed professionally and as a friend. Tasha had to wrestle with the ideas of calling and how she felt her failure had disqualified her from this vocation. Read more thoughts on d…
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Kate wasn't ever really sure where she fit in and the disappointment of living in South Africa while her mom was dying of cancer challenged her to rethink what "home" and "belonging" really meant to her. Get Kate's book A Place To Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging Read more thoughts on disappointment: Good Things Are Scary; Disappointment is C…
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When Jennifer was 24, she was passed over for a job she had her heart set on. While hindsight has given her some perspective on the size of that disappointment, Jennifer and Becky discuss how even small disappointments can be extremely painful. Jennifer's new book, It's All Under Control, is for women who are facing really hard things and just tryi…
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Jonathan, a writer, has a chronic pain disorder in his hands. What began as a great disappointment turned into an opportunity to grow and get to know God more deeply. Read more thoughts on disappointment: Good Things Are Scary; Disappointment is Comfortable Links from this episode: Learning To Speak God From Scratch by Jonathan Merritt Disappointme…
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Becky explores what it means to be disappointed and what disappointment with herself, with others, and with God has looked like in her own life. Read more thoughts on disappointment: Good Things Are Scary; Disappointment is Comfortable Links from this episode: Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe Resonate Recordings BeautyCounter with Theresa I…
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Becky shares how grief impacts her life in unexpected ways and how she's learned to let go of things instead of trying to be awesome at everything all the time. Links from this episode: Disappearing Act: Let Your Grief Breathe Resonate Recordings BeautyCounter with Theresa Idoux Resiliency Coaching BRAVEtogether Virtual Retreat Email List & 3 Truth…
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18 years ago, Jim Bradford befriended a small boy with cerebral palsy. HK Derryberry had lost his vision and had several other physical disabilities when he was born premature as a result of a car crash that killed his mother. Being a preemie, blind, and prone to seizures would discourage most people, but HK is resilient and worked hard to earn his…
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Rachel Scott of Better Than Blended works with couples who are blending families together after divorce, death, and adoption. Rachel knows from experience (from growing up in a blended family and being a parent of one) that it takes a lot of intention and humility to go from brokenness to unity. It's easy to feel rejected by step-kids, but as she l…
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When Sarah's oldest was nine months old, she started showing signs of food allergies. At first it was only hives, but on her 5th birthday, Sarah's daughter had her first anaphylactic reaction. Through allergy testing, Sarah and her husband discovered their child was facing seven severe food allergies. Sarah's anxiety levels skyrocketed as they bega…
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Heather was diagnosed with Vascular Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, the same autoimmune disease her mom died from. Heather began to grieve the loss of the life she expected to live and was afraid of how the disease will impact her family, but realized she had the opportunity to make sustainable choices and manage her disease. As her perspective shifted, sh…
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Gretchen's older son was struggling in school due to a learning disability and her younger son was making incredibly rebellious choices. Gretchen was overwhelmed with worry, stress, and fear for her boys as she and her husband had to make hard choices for their family. She was determined to trust God for the outcome and be vulnerable and honest wit…
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Lauren started having panic attacks in high school, but didn't fully realize she had chronic anxiety until her 20s. Around the same time, Lauren was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which comes with a lot of chronic pain. Lauren hosts the podcast Finding Joy. Find her and leave some love! Lauren's answers to the fun questions: • What are you …
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When Elli was diagnosed with postpartum depression, she realized she'd been struggling with anxiety and depression most of her adult life. "I just thought I was a really weak person because I wasn't able to cope." She was anxiety, paranoid, barely managing parenting, and having panic attacks. It wasn't until she started creating space in her schedu…
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Amanda, a counselor and mental illness advocate, struggled with grief and suicidal ideations. She was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and thought maybe her struggles were over. Yet, she continued to face numbness and found any passion she once had was gone. Eventually, she was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 (also known as hypomania); the mo…
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When Vidhi's son was an infant, he had severe allergies and sensitive skin. She found herself restless, panicky, and crying more often than normal. Her husband noticed the change in her behavior and encouraged her to go to the doctor. Vidhi was diagnosed with Postpartum Anxiety and began her journey of finding healing and relief. She wants other wo…
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