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Contenuto fornito da Monique R. Shields. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Monique R. Shields o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.
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39 | On People Pleasing

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Manage episode 431639996 series 3459665
Contenuto fornito da Monique R. Shields. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Monique R. Shields o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.

NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to her

In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it.

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

STAY IN TOUCH
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46 episodi

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iconCondividi
 
Manage episode 431639996 series 3459665
Contenuto fornito da Monique R. Shields. Tutti i contenuti dei podcast, inclusi episodi, grafica e descrizioni dei podcast, vengono caricati e forniti direttamente da Monique R. Shields o dal partner della piattaforma podcast. Se ritieni che qualcuno stia utilizzando la tua opera protetta da copyright senza la tua autorizzazione, puoi seguire la procedura descritta qui https://it.player.fm/legal.

NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to her

In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it.

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on I

  continue reading

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