The Purpose of Parenting

The Jenni Carroll Perspective

Welcome to the Jenni Carroll Perspective. Today we are going to talk about something that for many of us holds a very special place in our lives, parenting. We discuss both the purpose of parenting from a broader perspective as well as “purposeful parenting” which is a framework for better understanding exactly what our responsibility is when it comes to this important role.

The relationship we have with our children is the one of the most valued of our life. We prioritize our children even after they are grown. There is no getting around the fact that once you become a parent, it becomes part of your purpose.

The opportunity to parent allows us to connect with one of the most important aspects of our soul - transcendent and unconditional love. This is understood as Divine Love. The purpose of parenting is simply the experience and demonstration of Divine Love.

As parents we continue to show up for our children with full hearts despite their choices that cause us frustration, upset or heartache. The love we encounter in every cell of our body and soul is so much greater than a feeling and always endures. In addition, we are able to practice Persistent Forgiveness, easily letting go of negative emotion that may arise from any frustration or hurt.

While a parent’s actions can be overwhelming loving, if that parent is not aligned with their Intrinsic Worth, they will not experience the full expression of Divine Love. When we aren’t in alignment with our true selves, we seek validation of our worth through others and this includes our children. When we carry a need for validation from our children, it interferes with the transcendent and consistent flow of Divine Love.

One of the most foundational principles to purposeful parenting is understanding that the relationship between a child and parent is never equal. As parents, we hold more responsibility for the relationship than our children do. Even when those children become adults. The other aspect of the responsibility we carry means that we must release any expectations we hold for them.

Contrary to what many of us believe, our children are NOT a reflection on us. Psychological Separation is the principle that every action, word, choice, feeling or thought a person has is only about them and not about anyone else. This principle also applies to our children.

We often have a natural tendency to control due to fear for our children’s safety. We attempt control to their environment or their actions in order to protect their physical or emotional safety. While creating a safe environment is an important part of our job, we often move far past this to a place of interference. It can be helpful to do some self-reflection to notice where, as a parent, you may be making decisions not necessarily for the best interest of your children, but for your own.

Instead of over-control, we must teach our children to recognize their Intrinsic Worth. This starts with understanding the power of our words and actions. If we are sending positive messages to our kids, then we will be making a positive impact. However, if we are sending messages that point to their failings, we will be contributing to the disconnection from their true self.

Parenting is a job that sometimes feels overwhelming for everyone. Doing it correctly takes more hard work than any other purpose we could be tasked with. So it is also important to be kind, patient and flexible with ourselves as we navigate this demanding but beautiful role.

My loving suggestion is to consider how you personify Divine Lov

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