How Moms of Autistics Turn Chaos into Calm

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Episode Transcript

Hi Moms! It’s been quite a few weeks in the Wilson household. Okay, it’s always a little wild. One thing is for sure. It is never dull.

My son likes to create magic in his room. He has been building a city for months and longs for periods of peace and quiet to construct his current project.

We try to give him some autonomy and space to do so. He is very independent and likes to do things himself. So, we meet him where he is at.

We work on stem projects together and have stem boxes sent to the house. Somehow, he managed to get one of the boxes and snag some paint.

He painted the top of his dresser blue. This is where the magic happens after all. Cleaning up has been fun. I now resemble Smurfette.

In this episode, I explore how to turn chaos into calm using EVERY mom’s secret weapon.

Find the full transcript for this episode at www.thrivingmomsofautistics.com/42

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Chaos and the Autism Mom

Chaos is just a part of autism parenting. Things can change quickly. Moms become masters of pivoting and assimilating. Flexibility is our middle name, right?

I imagine you have some situations swirling in your mind right now. So, how are you still holding it together? Some moms say they don’t have a choice. But life is all about choices.

When we make the wrong choice at any given point, we can learn from it and do things differently in the future. We make that choice! We choose to carry on!

Sometimes moms of children with special needs hate when others say, “You’re so strong. I don’t know how you do it.”

The truth is that we make that choice just like everyone else. Everyone in this world is going to experience great difficulty at some point in life. Our challenges might not be the same, but they are serious challenges, nonetheless.

So, own that strength. You have earned it even if you are beating yourself up because it didn’t go as you had hoped.

How Do Moms of Autistics Turn Chaos into Calm

First, we have to get on Amazon and purchase their latest Magic Mom Wand.

…Just teasing! My mom hack doesn’t work in seconds like the proverbial magic wand.

I’ll give you a hint. You already have it but might not know it or use it.

Any guesses? I’ve talked about this before as related to other areas of momming!

It’s your innate strengths. I know it sounds so simplistic, but it is your secret weapon for combating challenges.

Let’s consider my son painting his dresser blue. It was shocking. Challenges usually are.

My personality drives the fixer in me. I like to problem solve and for things to be a certain way. I thrive when things are not messy and are planned.

You can imagine the discomfort this brought on. For me, I turned to my innate strength of perspective, which is closely tied to judgement and learning.

I have always had this strength but have grown in this area considerably over the years. My roles as a professor and researcher require me to think critically.

We don’t wake up one day as great critical thinkers. This takes time and practice. This is true for all our innate strengths. You need to exercise and grow them.

Once I stopped and collected my breath, my perspective kicked in. The why behind the child’s behavior often eludes moms of autistics due to communication barriers. Sometimes our kids cannot explain their sensory experiences.

I knew his city was important to him. He constantly tells me and my husband not to touch it when we are in his room. He takes a lot of pride in his work.

Before I jumped to the discussion that painting without m