Negative Friendship Patterns; Breaking an Unhealthy Cycle: Christie Tate

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode #89: Do you ever feel like you or someone you know is just not “good at” friendship? It's never too late to address negative patterns in our friendships or any relationship. Today's guest, author Christie Tate, author of B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, set out to break decades of unhealthy cycles in her friendships. Do you think you "suck at friendship" as Christie thought before she started this process? There is hope! Christie is here to prove it.

We covered:

• Abolishing a school cafeteria mentality from our adult friendships
• Aiming for friendship circles (expansive ) vs. triangles (hard edges)
• Recognizing how jealousy and envy alters our behavior towards others
• Knowing when we're asking friends for too much assurance
• Changing from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance
• Developing compassion for the "it" person (child or adult)
• Ghosting and being ghosted
• Owning our ambitions and desires in order to combat competition with friends

Meet Christie Tate:

Christie’s latest memoir is, B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found. Her previous memoir, Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, was a New York Times bestseller and a Reese Witherspoon book club pick. You can find links to her many published essays and her writing workshops on her website. Find Christie's Substack newsletter here, and find her on Instagram @Christieotate.
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