How to Tackle Bedroom Anxiety with Shay Doran

Mid-life Men: the mental health podcast

Shay Doran, a men's coach specialising in helping men overcome sexual performance issues, shares insights into the challenges he faced and how he transformed his life. Initially, on the surface, his life seemed great, but he struggled with a bad relationship with porn and sex, thinking it was normal for every guy. It took years for him to realise the destructive impact on his life.

Discussing the escalation of porn usage, Shay highlights how it affects the mind differently from real-life sex. The hyperstimulating nature of porn, instant gratification, and constant exposure lead to a chase for a dopamine high, affecting real-life sexual experiences.

Shay emphasizes that men often face performance challenges in the bedroom due to various factors beyond porn, such as external pressures, stress, and anxiety. He points out that addressing these issues requires understanding the context of the situation and seeking help through coaching or therapy.

He encourages men not to accept performance challenges as permanent and stresses the importance of having open conversations about them. He acknowledges the vulnerability and fear associated with these conversations but emphasises the potential for transformation and a fulfilling sex life. Finally, Shay underscores the negative impact of prolonged performance challenges, leading to self-doubt, shame, and potential mental health issues.
Shay also addresses the problem of young men and boys having easy access to pornography and the negative impact this can have on their perceptions of sex and suggests a useful website Fight the new drug 'How to discuss porn when talking to your kids about sex': https://fightthenewdrug.org/
To contact Shay visit his website: https://shay-doran.com/ or his YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@shay-doran.