This Word May Change the Debate | Conversations with the Browns

The Mister Brown Show

Conversations are rarely ever black and white. There are many shades of meaning and expression that come through when you have conversations. This is called nuance. Understanding the nuance of a conversation will help you to have better and more meaningful conversations.
Nuance is the subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound (dictionary.com). We use it often in our conversations. You probably don’t realize it. Paying attention to nuance helps you understand that even when two people are looking at the same thing, they each will have a different perspective. Those differing perspectives will shine through in their tone of voice, body language, and the words they use. Not paying attention to the nuance of a conversation can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.
Nuance helps us to be open to seeing another side to the conversation. This doesn’t mean that we try to eliminate who we are. Instead, we need to become more aware of who we are, how we process, and how we have been shaped. When we know ourselves better, we are more present in a conversation and better able to articulate. We also realize that other people of goodwill may have experienced a situation differently than we have. When we forget to notice nuance, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about other people and what they are saying.
The current system of conversing is set up so that it makes people choose a side. You are either on one side or the other. We think we need to approach conversations with a set agenda and not be swayed. This is especially obvious in politics.

Sarah Holland and Beth Silvers of the Pantsuit Politics podcast and authors of I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening): A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations have been making politics more understandable and enjoyable to discuss *gasp*.

Sarah & Beth are friends who are registered as opposing political parties. They approach their conversations with respect and openness to hear another side. They talk about taking off your team jersey before coming to a conversation.

Like with sports, we often come to a conversation with our team jersey on, ready to win and fight for our side. Everyone loses if the conversation is a win or lose situation.

We also can’t come to a conversation pretending we want to hear what someone else has to say. It’s condescending and disrespectful. Whether it’s politics, racism, or any other topic, in a real conversation nuance will show our true intentions. The problems we face today have been a lifetime in the making. We are looking for the magic pill for the problems we face, but there is no magic pill. We need solutions that are as nuanced as our actual lives are. Those solutions take time and real conversations. Read more at our website LifeWithTheBrowns.com.

How does nuance play into your conversations? Do you make opportunities to have nuanced conversations or do you wait for conversations to be safe before speaking up?

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