Do You See Me?

Come Here To Me: Relationship Experts Walk the Talk

New and extraordinary emotional truth is shared in this session wherein Figs and Teale stop defending their stories and start experiencing the empathy and connection they long for. Discover insights into how reactivity can be an essential precursor to vulnerability.

Timestamps:

01:06 Small talk — Life in Hawaii

05:22 Intro to the session: The ways couples normally try to solve problems

08:07 Therapy tools: "My story is that…"

10:10 Transitioning from story of other to experience of self

13:48 Honoring the reactive cycle before dropping into vulnerability

15:30 Accessing Teale's attachment history

17:35 Session begins — Defending their stories

21:12 Why Figs uses anger

23:50 Teale's story of "I'm the wronged one"

24:48 Feeling behind the anger: Figs is alone | Teale empathizing with Figs

30:33 Teale's hurt and past around anger in men

33:33 Teale protesting with "I don't want to tolerate it"

35:09 Figs feeling triggered around "I'm not gonna tolerate it"

37:36 Teale wants to reorganize her narrative of her life

40:39 Discussing Teale's (triggering) family history

45:17 Teale's family with Figs is healing

46:20 Figs becomes emotional over being that person for Teale

48:25 Teale feels love for that fiery part of Figs

50:42 Session ends — What is your story?

51:08 Scary and activating for Teale to share her attachment history

54:15 Figs' journey to vulnerable empathy for Teale

56:59 Big vulnerable feelings may not look dramatic on the outside

59:49 Feeling activated first helps in moving to deeper vulnerable feelings

01:03:28 Ending chit-chat: The Bro and the Angry Irishman

Visit comeheretomepodcast.com for episode transcripts, social media links, and to subscribe to the mailing list.

If you or someone you love are struggling in your relationship, visit empathi.com for the relationship quiz, courses, and therapy consultations.