Ever feel like friendships are too complicated, superficial, or disappointing? And yet you don’t want to swear them off completely because you also crave the feeling of having close, comfortable, and meaningful relationships? You’re not alone! In the first season of Frientimacy, social relationships expert Shasta Nelson goes behind the scenes of her own real-life friendships to unpack the challenges they’ve faced and how they overcame them to forge an even stronger bond. Because let’s face i ...
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DEAR NINA features honest conversations about the ups and downs of friendship. Why didn't your friend text you back? Why didn't your friend include you in her birthday dinner? It's because she's mad at you. Kidding, she's probably not. But maybe she is? See what I mean! Friendship is tricky, even for grownups. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. Since 2014 I've been fostering discussions about the nitty gritty of adult friendships with sensitivity and practicality in my advice column. The podcast ha ...
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Have you ever felt connected to a place? Well, it turns out that the places all around us hold more power than we think. I'm Julia Suca, your curious guide, with a love for coffee, travel, and psychology. In each episode, I chat with experts and explore all sorts places, from the ordinary to the downright bizarre. Together we’ll venture from the cozy corners of coffee shops that teach us the power of community to the peaks of the world’s tallest mountains that dare us to live life on the edg ...
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Do you feel alone in your own head when it comes to navigating life’s big and small problems? Do you find self-care language a little too self-focused but know you still need to do the work? Join us on Reframeables and eavesdrop your way into some new perspectives — we promise you'll feel less alone as you listen. We are Nat and Bec, two very different sisters who come together each week to reframe some of life's big and small stuff. Nat's a PhD whose favourite phrase is “let’s reframe that! ...
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In today's episode of Frientimacy, Shasta invites Cori to share her experiences of feeling profoundly let down by her best friend during a time of personal crisis—the death of a loved one. Despite her friend's past support and their close bond, Cori found herself in a situation where she felt abandoned and unsupported. Throughout the episode, Shast…
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Quiet Quitting a Friendship: Withdrawing from friends or ending friendships: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer
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Episode #109: Let's say you know that a friendship has run its course, but the friend has done nothing wrong. How do we go about distancing from a friend or ending a friendship? How do we process it when we feel a friend withdrawing? How do we negotiate conflict or transitions that are going to come up in many friendships? "Quiet quitting" is the l…
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Episode #108: Talking to friends about money has always been a taboo topic. What if, instead, discussing money with friends could deepen a friendship? Money can be an enormous issue between friends, which is why I'm revisiting my conversation with Shondaland.com staff writer, Mia Brabham Nolan. We discussed ways to make talking about finances with …
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This heartfelt episode dives deep into the journey of personal growth and sobriety through the lens of Krista, who opens up about her decision to stop drinking. Krista recounts the challenges and growth that came with this process and how it impacted the relationships in her life. Krista and Shasta discuss the importance of mutual support in friend…
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I'm the Friend Who Regrets Giving Up on Us
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Today’s episode features Shasta and three women who share one common, difficult experience: each has deeply regretted losing touch with a close friend. Throughout the episode, they reflect on the impact of these lost relationships, and share the importance these friends once held in their day to day lives. Shasta offers valuable advice on how to re…
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Letter Spotlight: Friendships between sisters-in-law (plus roommates, cousins, and neighbors)
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Episode #107: I rarely cover family relationships on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, but I consistently receive letters about sisters-in-law so I realized it was time to broach the topic. Let me first say, I have a wonderful relationship with my sisters-in-law. I'm lucky! I was still able to take what I know about getting along (or not) …
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When Shasta met Christine, a fellow author and speaker, she was everything Shasta wanted to be: she had just published a book, she’d been interviewed on TV, and she had a press kit. Shasta was green with envy. We’ve all been there—a friend has more money, goes on cooler vacations, is happily in love while we just went through a breakup. We wish we …
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Episode #106: Welcome to Dear Nina, Conversations About Friendship. Today is a tough topic, and I'm not going to promise you that we come to an easy solution at the end. The fallout from losing the friendship of an entire group is a heartache that takes tremendous time to heal. Today's guest, is still in that healing process. I spoke to writer and …
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After years of friendship, Shasta and Sher found themselves in two completely different places: Sher was a stay-at-home mom, whereas Shasta didn’t have kids and was more focused on her career. Sher was married to a pastor, while Shasta was questioning church. Sher was more conservative-leaning, and Shasta was more liberal. The question arose: “If w…
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Episode #105: After a trip to Chicago to say goodbye to my childhood house, I appreciated how even one meal with your long distance friends means so much. You need time with your long distance friends, but not as much time as you think. You don't need full weekends away, though of course those are nice. You don't need long retreats in fancy resorts…
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My friend, Jill Smokler, discussing: brain cancer, friendship, and the Scary Mommy blogging days
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Episode #104: Jill Smokler is the creator of Scary Mommy, one of the most original and successful mom blogs ever. She was also the first mom blogger to sell her site to a major media company. But Dear Nina is not a business podcast, and this is not a discussion about business regrets or rebranding. Jill was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. And…
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I’m the Friend Who Ghosted
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A few weeks ago, Shasta interviewed three women who had been ghosted. Today, she’s shifting the focus to hear from the ghosters. Why did they ghost their friends, rather than taking a different approach? Do they regret it? And was there anything that could have changed their minds? In this panel, three women reveal the commonalities between friends…
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After going through a friendship breakup, Shasta faced a dilemma: how would she navigate this with their mutual friends, and how much was she going to pull them into the drama? In this episode, she sits down with her friend Kat, who still maintains her own relationship with Shasta’s ex-friend. They shed insight on how they’ve been able to discuss t…
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Episode #103: Friendship meet-cutes, the perfect jacket or blazer, fashion emergencies solved by our friends, making the first friendship move, and more. I'm talking to Rachel Levy Lesser of Life's Accessories: The Podcast for a fun crossover episode. We covered: Some personal friendship "meet-cutes" that mean more to us than our former romantic me…
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Have you ever felt like you were always disappointing a friend or that you couldn't satisfy them? Or maybe you’re on the other side, feeling like your friends aren’t putting in the same level of effort as you? This was the problem Shasta and Daneen encountered. At the beginning of their friendship, Daneen initiated time with Shasta frequently, and …
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Reality TV is a unique phenomenon where places - whether its a tropical island, an isolated house, or the big city— play a role in the contestants’ experiences. These environments challenge them, bring out their best (and sometimes their worst), and reveal their true selves. But what makes these places so impactful? How do they influence the action…
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Episode #102: Shasta Nelson, friendship expert extraordinaire, joins me to discuss how and why to be honest with friends when we're upset with them. Our friendships CAN survive tough conversations, hurt feelings, and conflict. AND, our overall social health will improve when we learn to get through the hard stuff with our friends. Meet Shasta Nelso…
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In today’s episode, Shasta and her friend Karen confront a struggle they’re still having—it seems like Karen is always busy, even when they’re together. Karen considers why she always has a full plate, and reveals the key to getting her attention and what she wishes her friends knew. Shasta gets vulnerable about feeling like an obligation and affir…
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Episode #101: It's the first official "ask me anything" episode in honor of 100 episodes! The questions came from my anonymous inbox, my Facebook group (Dear Nina: The Group), or through Instagram and TikTok-- both @dearninafriendship. I had a great time answering questions and I couldn't even get to everything so I will keep doing these every so o…
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We often have conversations with folks who have written books. In this episode of Reframeables, Nat has a thoughtful conversation with child therapist Niomi Cherney, who’s in the midst of drafting her very own book on how to talk to loved ones with opposing viewpoints — think Trump supporter at one end of the table, and leftist liberal at the other…
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I’m the Friend Who Was Ghosted
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So you got dumped by a friend—no warning, no explanation, not even a text back. What happened? Nearly 80% of us have been ghosted at some point, and while it’s more commonplace in the dating world, it can happen with friends too. In this episode, Shasta interviews three women who were ghosted by close friends. They open up about what they wish thei…
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Episode #100: They say camp friends are the best friends. Why? At camp there are no screens, you take risks, parents aren't breathing down your back, and the magic ingredients of endless hours + constant proximity make it possible to create intense, close bonds with kids your age. In this special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship…
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What is it about certain environments that make them ideal for forming friendship? Why do some places encourage deeper connections while others seem to keep us at arm's length? To help untangle this, I turned to someone who knows the ins and outs of friendship better than anyone else: Shasta Nelson. Shasta is a friendship expert, speaker, and the a…
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After a girls’ weekend, Shasta returned home feeling drained—her friend J’Leen seemed to often take things personally and question how accepted she was in the group. Again, they’d spent much of their time together reassuring her to no avail. Today, Shasta and J’Leen explore how J’Leen’s fears of rejection and abandonment developed, how her attempts…
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The Friendship That Weathered My Personal Life Crisis (Kim)
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Shasta and Kim were colleagues and couple friends . . . then Shasta called her crying out of the blue. She’d had an affair, a divorce, and had been fired from her job. But while other friends and colleagues pulled away, judged, and disappeared, Kim and Shasta only grew closer. In today’s episode, the two unpack how Shasta’s personal crisis affected…
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Friendships can get a little messy, but at the other end of the muck are often more supportive and meaningful relationships. Join Shasta for the debut episode of Frientimacy, as she reveals the 3 requirements for all healthy relationships that helped her and her own friends navigate conflict and disappointment to deepen their connections. Shasta al…
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Shasta sits down with her friend Valerie to discuss the time a hurtful conversation drove a wedge between them. They spill their regrets and what they wish they could tell their past selves. They reveal how they not only rekindled their friendship but grew to become best friends today. Finally, they consider strategies to ask for what we need in a …
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In today’s episode, Shasta reflects on what we can learn from our physical health to develop better social health, and how we can heal from heartbreak and disappointment to create more meaningful friendships. Conflict in a relationship can be uncomfortable, awkward, and—at times—painful. But it’s when we persist through the discomfort that we start…
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Episode #99: Welcome to the 14-day friendship (mindset) cleanse, brainchild of previous Dear Nina guest, Anna Goldfarb, whose book Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is finally out in the world. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how yo…
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What's it really like to travel the world without flying? Today's guest has a story that takes world travel to a whole new level. Thor Pedersen recently returned from a ten-year adventure, traveling to every country in the world with one major caveat—he never set foot on an airplane. While many aim to visit every country, Thor is the only one who's…
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Episode #98: There are five questions I want us to be asking ourselves to get a sense of where our friendships stand. Even if you're not a student or a parent, thinking in school months is a helpful measure of time. Maybe you got some grades. Maybe your kids got grades. Maybe at work you got an evaluation. It's also worth your time to evaluate your…
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Welcome to “Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships” —the show that reminds us through shared stories and research-backed teaching that friendships, while they may not always be easy, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it. My name is Shasta Nelson and I’ve been researching, coaching, speaking, and writing books about our friend…
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Disclosing My Invisible Disability Increased the Intimacy In My Friendships: Estelle Erasmus
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Episode #97: Invisible disabilities can turn into a source of shame and unknowingly get in the way of friendships. What is an invisible disability? It's any condition that is not obvious, perhaps even to the closest of friends. Some examples are depression, anxiety, other mental health diagnoses, as well as physical conditions such as chronic pain,…
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Dive into the world of cults and the power of persuasive places. Hollywood, with its glitz, glamour, and allure, serves as the backdrop for former cult member Chris Johnston's journey. Join us as we uncover the chilling realities of cult psychology, delving into the heart of the Buddhafield—a cult led by the enigmatic Jaime Gomez. Founded on princi…
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Episode #96: I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina. In celebration of Gretchen's paperback release of Life in Five Senses: How Explorin…
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Is street art a legitimate art form or just plain vandalism? From the graffiti culture of the 1970s to today's vibrant murals, we'll uncover the evolution of street art and its impact on cities and neighborhoods. Discover how artists like Keith Haring and Banksy have reshaped perceptions of street art, turning once-gritty urban landscapes into vibr…
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Overtalking, Undertalking, and Lessons on Friendship in the Art of Storytelling: Micaela Blei
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Episode #95: Oversharing, overtalking, undertalking, undersharing, small talk, deep talks, mismatches in vulnerability, and the art of listening---these are the tricky friendship topics we are dealing with today. I'm joined by Micaela Blei, a GrandSLAM-winning storyteller and former founding Director of Education at The Moth. Topics we covered: The…
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Today we open the door to the transformative power of our homes with the insiring Anita Yokota! As a therapist-turned-interior designer, Anita brings a unique perspective on how our homes can influence our wellbeing, happiness, and identity. In this episode, she shares practical tips and inspiring stories from her book, 'Home Therapy', revealing ho…
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Episode #94: Everyone runs into bumps in their friendships. Trust me, I have a decade's worth of writing material from readers and listeners to prove that point. But when are friendship issues getting to the point where addressing them with a therapist is highly recommended? I'm joined by award-winning psychotherapist, Roxanne Francis, who responde…
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For this episode of Reframeables, we had the opportunity to speak with award-winning poet and novelist Canisia Lubrin about her new book Code Noir. After the interview, she sent the Reframeables duo an email, calling us both badass and tender, which is probably the best compliment we’ve ever been given — so there’s that. For context about her book,…
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Episode #93: A quick conversation about the subtle hurts that can make friendship difficult. It's the small slights I cover on Dear Nina in general, not the giant betrayals. Why? The big "stuff" is much more black and white, and we don't need much conversation around whether to stay friends. Today I also have a big instagram tip if you're looking t…
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Step onto the stage with improv comedian, James McGee, as we explore how the stage isn't just a place for laughs – it's a playground for personal growth and overcoming fears. James shares his insights and stories from the spotlight, offering a glimpse into the magic of live performance. Whether you're a seasoned performer or just curious about what…
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Get ready to crack open the door into the spooky world of haunted places with paranormal expert, Jeff Belanger! In this episode, we'll explore the eerie allure of these mysterious locations. From creepy castles to haunted houses, join us as we explore why we're irresistibly drawn to haunted places, even in the face of fear. Get ready for a haunting…
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Episode #92: For anyone who has been hurt by a friend--or a group of friends--recently or in the past, this 14-minute episode is for you. It's a solo episode that came from my reaction to a TikTok video I saw by a woman who was left out of a group trip years ago and has decided she will never trust anyone with her friendship again. Other titles I c…
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Why Big Friend Groups Often Fail; And Helping Kids Manage Conflict with Friends: Dr. Lisa Damour
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Episode #91: Dr. Lisa Damour's latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , is out in paperback. On this episode we revisit the best nuggets of my previous conversation with Dr. Lisa, focusing on teen and tween friend groups and all of the anxiety that goes along with parenting a teen who is dealing with not being in a group. We cover teens not …
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We are reframing the productivity narrative with Instagram and Substack-famous sketch artist Nishant Jain — otherwise known as the Sneaky Artist. Nishant trained as an engineer, almost got his PhD, and then switched tracks to make art in public — sneakily. Now his full-time gig is sketching with a recognizable yellow fountain pen so that he can’t e…
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Today we venture into the Restaurant of Mistaken Orders located in Tokyo, Japan! We sit down with dementia specialist Teepa Snow to explore this unique concept, where genuine mistakes made by the waitstaff with dementia are embraced as part of the dining experience. Discover how this initiative challenges misconceptions about dementia and promotes …
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Episode #90: Many of us say we would be there for our friends in an emergency, but that's often theory until it's tested. Not everyone can rise to the occasion. And crisis is a time when the friends you want around you and the ones you may need to leave behind (even for just a while) becomes very clear. Kelly Lang, co-author with her husband, Mike,…
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In this episode, we dive into the power of third places—those magical spots between work and home where connections are formed and communities thrive. Join us as we explore the decline of traditional community hubs like bowling alleys and the impact on social connections. Political scientist Robert Putnam's insights on the "bowling alone" phenomeno…
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Episode #89: Do you ever feel like you or someone you know is just not “good at” friendship? It's never too late to address negative patterns in our friendships or any relationship. Today's guest, author Christie Tate, author of B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, set out to break decades of unhealthy cycles in her friendships. Do you th…
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